2008, bye bye

The messages which were I have learnt from Pastor Kong Hee. I just like his message so much!

1.) Don’t look back at the OLD SINS that were already forgiven

2.) Don’t look back at the OLD DEFEAT that gets you down.

3.) Don’t look back at the OLD CONFLICTS that make you bitter.

4.) Don’t look back at the OLD VICTORIES and think you have achieved.

OLD SINS
Treat people not from my sincere heart, take everything and God for granted.

OLD DEFEAT
Unable to achieve TEAM LEADERSHIP.

OLD CONFLICTS
Relationship mess out, with Tim and Ben.

OLD VICTORIES
Build team, nearly hit the team leadership criteria.

Lesson of the day:
Don’t nurse it, don’t curse it, don’t rehearse it, release it, and God will dispense it.
Hallelujah!

Thanks God for this wonderful message!

part 3 of week

Everything I start from 0 again. I want to build another 5 guys in UNICEF again. I want to take control of everything.

No love until I get ownership. Since Ben want to alone hence I decided not to disturb him again. He can do whatever he wants. He is my colleague only.

Thanks you God for making clear everything for me. Well, Tim is a best business partner only. He is not a right one as soul mate. The opportunity of working for one week makes me to understand everything.

Start from next week, I decided to go back to God’s arm. After so long, I found out that no matter what I do He is there for me. After I go against God, I found that He is still for me.

This time round, I did not pass with flying color. Sorry, God! Next time, I will do it better.

Everything is clear. It’s my turn not to look back everything. Focus ahead! Brand new NICOLE reborn again!

This is a week which impacts me so much. It will become another turning point of my life!

part 2

It is absolutely good working experience together with Tim! He taught me a lot of thing. Yesterday I have talk with him and he informed me that he is getting married soon. Well, I do felt sad but I just sigh for time is flies. So much changes between us after so long.

I never knew that he is family man. He wanted for a family so much. In the public, he is so good in everything and has best attitude ever. But in the private, he is change to another people. I think he will tire out at one day. One thing that I know is I can motivate him.

I’m going buy Zippo lighter for Ben as birthday gift. I asked Tim to help me to pick one for him. He refused to do that. Maybe, this is his pride. After all, we were together. He can ignore my request and replaced with his own Zippo story.

Tim thought that I have a boyfriend. In fact, I don’t have any. Who cares? We are just not suitable for each other.

Recently, Ben makes me lost temper all the time. I given him a warning which is I going to fine if he did not pick up my call again. Now I think back and I just felt funny because I just nobody to him. But, how can I say so? It must be something to do with confidence level. Haha..

first round

Finally, I surrender for event. Now, I need work closely with Visnu’s team.

Well, I should learn how to do from them but I’m in my room now. What the hell I’m doing now? Just want to have a good rest before strike back. I still remember that Tim shared with me a phase “the glory of victory is not when you are on the top of the world and everything is going your way. The glory of victory is when you fall down and strike back.”

This time round, Ben is not with me. But, I’m not alone. I still have my team mate with me. I should appreciate them more than everything.

Well, the challenge is tough. I strong believe that I will laugh at the end.

new life

Recently, I have a new decision. I’m not going to step into any relationship anymore. So, I decided to adopt children. I know that I’m crazy. I lost all faith about guys.

When I told Ben, he was very angry. He said that I’m so into children project till became this way. Well, I asked him to become one of my share holder and help me to rise up the child. Ha.. I’m going to make another decision which will drive my family crazy.

The first thing was I became Christian even my parent were angry about this. The second thing was I choose the job which they were not agree and always asked me to quit the job. This time round, I not plan to married and adopt children. Can I just be a normal person? I guess that it’s hard to become mummy’s girl again. Maybe, I just want to do the thing that no one is doing. I’m weird. But, I happy that who I’m.

Who knows? I might pregnant and became single mother. Haha.. It is simply because I don’t trust guy anymore. A guy is just my tool to get what I’m wanted. So much possibility.. I never know that what will happen.. I just felt excited about my life!

new

Big challenge is ahead! Taking UNICEF is a big step ahead for me and it’s going a big turning point for me! I’m going to move to next level. Yeah! Because of this, I have to exchange something which is important to me.

Yesterday night, Tim called me and scolded me. I’m very disappointed with whatever he was doing in the past. I realized that he is the one who always said I’m not good enough and how bad I’m. Well, it does make me felt that I’m going prove that he is wrong. I hate people who are look down on me. Tim, thanks you because you always look down on me and doubt my ability.

The person who always did opposite whatever Tim was doing is BEN. Sincerely, he is the one who always give me the support. Right now, his grandma is admitted to hospital. He is tired because he is the one who take care his grandma now. But, he did call me. He informed me that he don’t even have a time to contact with others. Truly in my heart, no one is more important than him.

When the time in need, i know who is the real one and who is the false to me. BEN, thanks for everything! I love u!

ben, i miss u

Just now, I send sms Ben through maxis broadband. I don’t know what happen on me. I was crying while I send sms to him. I so afraid I’ll lost him.

I don’t know what happen on me. I just keep on crying when I saw his sms. I miss him crazy.