2007

Wow! 2008 just around the corner!

2007 has become another memory for me. Thank for 2007, I truly experience a lot!

I have face dramatically changes from student to working adult and also from single get into love relationship and back to single again.

Well, I enjoy my single status and I still don’t know how balance my life with another person. Yes, I think I’m selfish and I don’t want sacrife for everyone’ sake. I can’t cope with lifestyle like that.

I still love Jerry but it does not mean that I will reconcile with him again. I think he also doesn’t want. Sometimes, my heart will still pain whenever think about him but I believe God will heal and cure.

To love Jerry,
Sometimes, I don’t understand why you purposely want to hurt me. In front of me, you called other girl as your wife and have close relationship with another girl. I don’t understand why you do so. I think you want me to give up you completely. When every time you do so, it does drive me crazy and I want explore! But I still maintain my attitude and cry back behind you.

I think my friend is right, I’m so fake in front of you. I think you also. Why we end up like this? Why we keep hurting each other?

I truly thank God for delight me! I don’t keep hatred in my heart and I don’t want to blame anyone. God teach me a lesson which is let go and still love.

When the moment I chose forgive and forget, my heart does not pain again for the moment. I found out the greatest love in this world is love of God to me.

I still love you my lao gong, Jerry. But let us not to hurt each other again. I know I lost you forever already. Don’t worry, no matter what happen I won’t go back to you again. I respect your decision.

Everything is happen by choice and not by chance. My choice is still remain let you go and your choice is our relationship should not go on. Alright, let us stick the choice that we already make. Maybe we are not mean to be together.

lose you

It has been so long I did not online at all. I have face crisis in my love life and I lose him.

I thought it will perfectly well to me but actually are not. Whenever he is closer, my heart is pain and my tears want to drop down.

Thanks for Suki! You are truly my buddy! Thank for your patient to listen my phone call and asked me not to cry. I was crying while I was speaking to her.

On the yesterday night, I was crying badly and sadly until I don’t know how to stop it. So, I decided to call Suki again. After a long talk, I found out that how bad I was to him. I really need to make decision whether to stay or move on.

When I was found out I’m the one who make mistake, I stop crying and thinking about the decision I should make.

Maybe, we will remain as friend or.. I don’t know and I don’t have any idea.

To love Jerry,

Sorry for all thing. I know I’m unreasonable all the time. I know you are so tired dealing with me. Why you refuse to say anything and comment about me?

I always said I’m willing to let you go but I couldn’t did it.

At least, we should cool down first. My trust to you is too little because I’m selfish and I want protect myself from being hurt by others. While you said, I don’t think we should go on. Without hesitate, I agree with you.

Right now, I would not beg you to come back to my life again. Maybe we should where we stay and remain as friend.

When the time with you, I totally lost balance in my career, family, friend and religion life.

Right now, I do like the feeling that I have more focus in my career rather than you. I was motivated to do all the thing to grow my team because I don’t have anyone to depend on. Do or die! Even I go back to you, I can’t overcome that and I think break up still will become our ending.

Learn to be more independent!