Tuesday, May 29, 2007

relationship

Just now went out dinner with my friend. After that, my sister called me to ask me about my preparation to go to Singapore on tomorrow. I really not clues to pack my thing.

I told her about the dinner then her reaction makes me think a lot. Recently, my family is very concern about my future especially in terms of relationship with opponent sex. They always advised me to grab the chance and don’t let it go.

Erm.. My answer is I think it is impossible with them or else I’ll not go out with them. I know them more than 10 years. I admit that when I almost graduated and I have a feeling wanted to get married but now I more concern about construct own rich than anything.

I have not problem go out with my male friend alone because I know that they have not intention on me and we have a pure friendship. Otherwise, I would not go out with them.

Anything regards love, I left it to my Lord. He is the one in charge of. Just like what my pastor said that the job after for partner belongs to men and a girl has the right to say yes or not. I trust the Lord will give me the one and I’m very clear about all my decision. It is because my reaction is according to His will. If He allowed, then I’ll move or else I would not. I’m enjoying for waiting instead of worry about it.

I do pray for it and that is why I not worry about it. For bible said:

Mark 11: 24 “Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.”

hurt

Hurt is a negative feeling. I was being hurt by many people before. At the same time, I hurt someone else also.

Once before, if I hurt by someone then I will chose to ignore it. I avoided it and thought that my hurt will recover as time has gone by. I tried it many time and I failed to forget the pain.

After that, I decided to face and expose my hurt. I found that it is worked. Running from the reality does not help you and it is better you can deal with it.

Since then, I’m careful to make every decision and ensure that it would not bring hurt to anyone. Again, I’m wrong. It is impossible to make everyone happy for your decision.

My conclusion is man is hard to please. I’m rather to please God than to please the people.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

my new toy



It is my new toy. Keke~~ Its name is Panasonic DMC-FX10. It came from Japan.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

DMC-FX10

I back to KL again with my new toy which is Panasonic DMC-FX10. I will upload more pictures in the future.

In month May, i have watched 3 movies. Among the three, I strongly recommended Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End". It is very nice! However, you have to prepare 3 hours for this movie. It is a long movie but it is worth to spend time on it.

This is a shop nearby my hostel. I take this photo from my room.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

in hometown

I have a good time in hometown. I’m still in my home. Nice~~

Now, I’m inside the cafe shop surfing the net while waiting for my sister. In hometown, I forget the verse “sleepless” because I have a good sleep everyday.

I watched live football match this morning. This is Champions League final between Liverpool and AC Milan. The result was AC Milan won over Liverpool. Well, I impressed the performance of AC Milan and Liverpool was not the opponent for them.

In my heart, I hope Liverpool can win even it is not. Inzaghi is one of my favorite football player and he definitely man of match for this competition. I so glad that I can watch this match. Well, Italian not bad, they are dominant for football matches. First was world cup final and now is Champions League.

Later, I will go for movie Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End". Actually, I not prepare to watch here but my sister invited me then I have not choice.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

what i've done by Linkin Park



wow.. nice! i like Linkin Park.

relief

These few days, I’m depressed because of my mother’s illness. I could not do anything for her and I’m upset because of it.

I cried whenever I think of her. I round in the circle of depression. I’m not in mood to eat and sleep. Every food makes me wants to vomit and I have an endless sleepless night. I never face this kind of situation before and I know that my mother really means a lot to me.

Thanks God for released my pain. I realize that all this while I used my personal strength to overcame my depression. The sad thing is I can’t overcome and it was getting worst. Everything seems against me.

In today’s service, I break down in tear when I heard You said: “I’m behind you.” I decided to lift my burden and submit it to You. I started realize that I cease my daily devotion’s time recently. I did not talk much to You yet You’re always there for me. Thank you, My Lord!

We should pray without ceasing. The more we pray the more the strength we have to overcome challenger in our life. I could not imagine my life without You, Jesus.

情绪低落

又是一个难以入眠的夜晚!当姐姐告知母亲的病情亮起红灯的事时,我只有无尽的担心。

虽然母亲的病情并不会危及生命,但势必对她造成一定的影响,此刻的我却身处异乡,实为不孝。

我告诉自己在这里得把该流得眼泪流完,决不在母亲表现懦弱,我必须坚强地安慰母亲。想着她曾经对我无悔任劳任怨的付出,我已泪流满面,也是该我回报的时候了。

“树欲静而风不止,子欲养而亲不在。”当我朋友告诫我时,我出资泰然,一副他们的事与我无关,大家都有各自的生活。现在想想,自己太自私,做任何决定都不把父母考量在内。

Saturday, May 19, 2007

幸福

我已忘了幸福的滋味。昨天的晚餐,当友人问及我吃这份丰盛的食物有没有幸福的感觉时,我很勉强的笑了因为我回答不出这个问题。

以前的我是一个很容易被满足的小女人,就连一杯饮料都可以让我有很幸福的感觉,让身边的朋友不仅为我的举动翻白眼,都认为我是一个容易受骗的女子。

幸福,这个字离我好远。。

Thursday, May 17, 2007

friendly?

When I went to Jabatan Imigresen, the staff over there really gives me a shock.

After I filled up the form and taken a photo, I went to counter to get the number. I remember my face was without expression. The staff looks very surprise when he looks at my document.

Staff: "Your birthday is on 16 June?"
Me: "Yup." (My tone is very normal)
Staff: "My sister’s birthday also on that day."
Me: "I see." (My tone still very normal, same day birthday ma.. nothing special)
Staff: "You are so friendly, just like my sister. It is because both of you have same birthday. So friendly."
Me: "My birthday on next month this day. Too bad, you can’t give me your birthday blessing." (I just give him a smile. Am I flatter? Haha.. I think I’m. Look at his face; I know he is happy with what I said. )

Sometime, I just wonder why people like to say I’m friendly. Even a stranger as him, I so puzzled. I don’t even smile to him, how he can say I’m friendly. I just felt shock. However, I don’t think so.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Sebastian, thank you very much!

Today, I get my passport. First of all, I really appreciate the help from Sebastian, thanks a lot! He is the one who fetch me go to Jabatan Imigresen.

I felt so proud to have friend just like him! Thanks God and I felt so blessed! When I reach there and filled up the form then I realized that I have to wait for 2 hour to get my passport after the payment.

I told him about that then I asked him to go back first because I can go back by my own. He rejected my request. He told me that he will be somewhere around there. I thought that he will go back to his colleague because his colleague is around there. He asked me to call him if everything is done.

After that, he told me that he came from his house to fetch me back. Oh My God! If I know this, I won’t call him.

In this life time, how many friend you can have just like him? I so glad that I have him as my wonderful friend.

Sebastian, thanks a lot!

By the way, this passport is valid for all countries except Israel.

Monday, May 14, 2007

2.16am, i should sleep

In this period, if UTAR student exits in campus will be the bad thing that means they might get supplementary test. Thanks God, I’m not! When I’m inside the campus, I overheard some student’s conservation. “I hope I can get at least D because I don’t want to retake subject again.” Another said: “Well, it came to the worst you still get D but I failed the subject.”

Most of the people I met today are student who takes supplementary test. I thank God for His wonderful blessing because I never take supplementary for my degree course. Yeah! His truly wonderful support and He never fail to answer my prayer. The time is tough and I glad that His promise to me comes to pass. What I can do to repay His great love and faithfulness? I pray, O Lord! Let me understand more about you and what I did can please You.

Finally, I bought the book I wanted so much which is Good morning, Holy Spirit by Benny Hinn. I want finish read Rich dad, poor dad first before proceed to it. Reading is my interest? Definitely not! Actually, I’m a very very very lazy person but the push can make me read a lot. My reading habit starts from Harvest Times, a publication of City Harvest Church Singapore. My push is my desire to know Him more.

My dinner is steamboat together with Pei Woon. Even it is just 2 person, I enjoyed so much! Soon, she might leave here for job offer from her hometown. I definitely will lose her; she is good kaki to shopping and talks to. Losing her, I’ll be sad. Will you be sad if you lost me?

Saturday, May 12, 2007

friends n book

Just now, I have conversation together with my gang in University. All of them have training class in Amcorp Mall except me. My training class is different from them.

Some of them stayed in same hostel like me in the past. They were moved out. Sometimes, we have dinner together. I just felt something is missing.

The friendship between us can remain unchanged? The answer is yes and no. Look at my friend in hometown; everyone has his own life style. Sometimes, we do have gathering but there will kind of reporting about who has married, who bored children, their job….

Once before, I’m very good at information about my friend. Some of them will say that I’m a radio station. But, I tired for it. Now, I only became listener among them. I only updated their status in my databases. I’m interest no more about their gossip.

I’m reading a book that is called “Rich dad, poor dad”. I’m enjoying in reading it so much! I get the answer that I long to know. I’m excited in discovery the lesson that I can learn. I still have more to go.

Robert T. Kiyosaki, he delights me by his teaching.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Saturday, 12 May, 2.18am

Recently, I just found out that I can’t sleep for a long time. It is definitely a bad news for people so free like me.

Finally, I decided to go to Emerge Singapore. I must do my passport before next Friday. If you are the one also want to go Emerge and don’t have passport like me, inform me maybe we can go together. My first passport, haha…it is costs me RM300.

Many of the time, peoples want me to make a choice between love and friendship. Most of the time, I chose the friendship but I lost both of them in the end. Am I wrong just because I make myself clear? Sorry if I hurt you. I have been through tough time to make decision.

I trapped in a cycle which is people hurt by me and I hurt by others. I decided to focus on you, my Lord. I know it will end it one day. I just enjoy the process so much.

Love is not a love until it is given away.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

test result

Your results:
You are Wonder Woman
























Wonder Woman
82%
Superman
65%
Hulk
65%
Supergirl
62%
Batman
60%
Catwoman
55%
Spider-Man
50%
Green Lantern
50%
Robin
42%
Iron Man
40%
The Flash
35%
You are a beautiful princess
with great strength of character.


Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz



huh? I'm a wonder women. Not bad.. haha..

i'm so free!!!

I’m not in mood for blogging. My days are dull. I’m super free and currently unemployed. You may think that it is so nice because I can enjoy unlimited freedom. I’m not thinking so. Aiyaa.. I forced myself to lend some book from library. Rich dad and poor dad, I never know that my library has such popular book. Since it is free and it can kill my free time then I just lend it.

I still go back to my university for extra class training until end of this month. Hopefully I can get the job before that. The thing is I still not in mood for applying a job. The resume with me was 1 years ago when I was used it for industry training. I never updated it since after that.

I know there is something waiting in front of me. I don’t know why I’m so confident that I’ll get a job soon. I know God will always behind of me, but I have to prepare before the chance is given. I just felt that I’m lame…

If you are my friend, you can find out that I’m be the one who talk to you in msn. Forgive me because people so free like me and tends to find someone to talk. Well, I get cold – shoulder from someone. That person saw my msn message then directly appear offline. I guess I have been bad in eye of people. Sob sob..

Thursday, May 3, 2007

night in The Orange

I have a complicated feeling. I have rejected someone and hold by another guy on the same night. Last night, I have gathering with my course mate at The Orange.

Well, The Orange is a restaurant (I was being cheated by the display of the shop) but it was not that I expected. Actually, it is a pub. I don’t like the environment because it makes me headache. The music is too loud and environment is dark.

I try to make myself comfortable in such environment but I could not make it! My face can tell all of my feeling. My friend asked me “Why I look so miserable? Why you are not enjoyed?” I have pretended to give them a best smile I have but I can’t.

After that, there are a few people were starting drunk. I give alarm to myself to stay away from these people. I rather hid myself in a corner.

At the end of party, I thought I can leave the place for good but the things did not turned out as I assumed. MC started read out the wishes written by us. But, I did not take part of it. Little expected, my name is being mentioned in someone’s wish.

Chee Horng’s wish was he wish Tan Kok Lin and Tan Ting Fang can hold each other for 5 second. Huh? I was shocked!!! Law Chee Horng!!! I never expected I’ll the one of them. Luckily, Kok Lin left already. Phew.. Do you think I can escape? The answer is not! MC requested that since Kok Lin left already then Chee Horng should hold me. I strongly disagree! I was keep hitting Chee Horng and I really don’t want. At the end, I was defeated by the crowd. I have gone out to hold Chee Horng for 5 seconds. This is the longest 5 seconds that I ever tested. I just felt very embarrassed. Chee Horng tricked by other to hold Michelle also. LOL..

Another wish by unknown person was Tan Kok Lin and Tan Ting Fang can have a dance. Luckily that person did not pen down his name. I’m escaped from it. Thanks God! All of my gang was laughing non-stop. What? Why? My name was mentioned again..

LOL.. What happen to all my dear friends? Why you all keep saying Kok Lin and me? Even though I get used by this kind of rumors but the wish you write.. Aiyoo.. Special thanks to Kok Lin, thanks for you are not there.

Ok lor.. At least I have memory what I have done in graduation party. The party is over and the new journey is beginning. I’m can’t wait for it. Job + serving… Faith stretching.. I’m exciting with my journey with God.

6:49pm

Today is great day! Finally, I finished all my papers. Yeah!

After that, I went to One Utama together with my friends for movie. We were watched Spider 3. No comment about movie. But I have comment for a few young boys who were sat behind me especially the one who was sit right behind of me. Please, stop kicking the seat which in front of you.

I kept told myself that SLOW TO ANGER or else I think I’ll stand, pointing at you and said “hey, you! Please stop kicking, you are annoying!” Can you imagine that person behind of you keep kicking your seat for whole session of movie. I know your legs very long. After that, I realize my height is not that short and I started to sit on the seat straight to block his view. The outcome is sure, he stops kicking. He has sat straight because I purposely block his view. So, this is good way to solve the problem. :p

One day, when I was on my way went back from church to home in hometown and it happened something that I’m not forget until today. I was in Jennifer’s car. She also fetched another church member went back to her house. Inside the car, her son asked her a question: “Mum, isn’t Dad committed adultery? Why he did not come church together with us?” Three of us were shocked by this little boy’s saying.

His mum told us about his dad’s story. Actually, it was not like what little boy thought. His dad is free thinker. Before and even after married, he followed his wife to go to church. After she gave birth of child, he still remains go to church even he is not committed. When his child was 5 years old, the little boy is starting on fire to believe in Jesus. His dad turned to another person. He refused to go to church. He even quarrels over this matter with his wife.

In my heart, I told myself that I’ll never let this happened in my life. Thanks for my brother remind me that what I should do. I should have set standard for myself that if you are not a believer; please step out of my life. I don’t want push you in and push out by you. If you willing, we still can be friend. Other than this, I’m very sorry. Don’t always think that religious is not an issue. It is!