lose you

It has been so long I did not online at all. I have face crisis in my love life and I lose him.

I thought it will perfectly well to me but actually are not. Whenever he is closer, my heart is pain and my tears want to drop down.

Thanks for Suki! You are truly my buddy! Thank for your patient to listen my phone call and asked me not to cry. I was crying while I was speaking to her.

On the yesterday night, I was crying badly and sadly until I don’t know how to stop it. So, I decided to call Suki again. After a long talk, I found out that how bad I was to him. I really need to make decision whether to stay or move on.

When I was found out I’m the one who make mistake, I stop crying and thinking about the decision I should make.

Maybe, we will remain as friend or.. I don’t know and I don’t have any idea.

To love Jerry,

Sorry for all thing. I know I’m unreasonable all the time. I know you are so tired dealing with me. Why you refuse to say anything and comment about me?

I always said I’m willing to let you go but I couldn’t did it.

At least, we should cool down first. My trust to you is too little because I’m selfish and I want protect myself from being hurt by others. While you said, I don’t think we should go on. Without hesitate, I agree with you.

Right now, I would not beg you to come back to my life again. Maybe we should where we stay and remain as friend.

When the time with you, I totally lost balance in my career, family, friend and religion life.

Right now, I do like the feeling that I have more focus in my career rather than you. I was motivated to do all the thing to grow my team because I don’t have anyone to depend on. Do or die! Even I go back to you, I can’t overcome that and I think break up still will become our ending.

Learn to be more independent!