feeling

“In a relationship conflict, crying is often a woman’s response to feeling unloved, and anger is often a man’s response to feeling disrespected.”

I don’t sure how true it is but at least it does happen on me. I’m not cry for some time. I was crying on Wednesday because I’m emotional break down for some reason. You are the one really has something because I only spoken one word and you already know I was crying. To be frank, I don’t like cry especially I don’t want to let you know that I’m crying. I felt myself very stupid because I let you know that I’m cry.

I’m thinking go to travel and I want to go Pulau Lang Tengah alone. I need to have a very good rest. Last time I used to think to go there with someone I love but right now I think I better go by myself.

No one loves to be alone.

This week I really spend a lot on praying and after a long talk with Ghana and I realized the reason. I can’t believe I was cursed by someone else because I did not lend the money to that person. No wonder everything was so wrong in my life. After that, the only I know I need to fast on the second day in order to built up my spirit.

Right now, I need to fast and continue to pray until the curse left me. I think it is already left me. I think God want remind me that I have a very close relationship with him once before. It is the time for me to go back! Lord, I long for you.

Put God first in everything I do.

love

When you in love with someone, do you need a reason? For me, I don’t have any reason for me to love anyone.

Love can be very simply yet can be complicated. To be frank, I’m the one who lazy to think much, so in order to make my life easy then I chose to love everyone.

You can give without love but you can’t love without giving. Love always reminds me that how Jesus loves me. Love of God is great!

To you, if you are the person who reading my blog now. Yes, I love you because you really touch my heart (only dedicated to the only one who is very important to me).

miss u, baby

Recently, I face a very stupid problem. I can’t recall Tim’s face at all. I think I miss him a lot because never saw him for very long time already.

When I asked my male friend and female friend about this, they give a different answer. For male, they felt I very stupid because I claimed that I miss the person so much but how came I can’t even recall his face at all. For female, they felt it is very normal. Phew~~

My friend said that he will be very hurt if he is the one received the answer like these. At first, I just felt nothing wrong. After a while, I recalled how Tim’s voice has changed after I told him about that. I realized that I done a wrong thing. Sorry, baby. I really not mean to hurt you. I hope you can understand. Please forgive me.

hometown day

Whoa~~~ I still in my hometown. Supposedly I need to go back on today but I really reluctant to go back so I decided to take another off day.

It is been so long that I never have a break. I guess I so tired for everything. Monday to Saturday are my working days. Sunday is my beloved day. This is a day where I can dwell in presence of my beloved Lord, Jesus and also meet my beloved Tim. But I never meet Tim for almost one month and I very upset with this. What to do? I don’t know. I think in his heart, he don’t have desire to meet me always. Thank God that I still have You, my Jesus. I can’t imagine my life without You, Lord. Whenever I need You, You are always be there for me. Truly, You are my faithful Lord.

Recently, I met two people in my life which make me change a lot. I start felt disappointment because human being is so ugly. Actually, I wish I can run away from them but I don’t want be a quitter that is why I chose stay. I don’t want to blame anyone because we live in a fallen world. I just want to be true to myself. No matter what is your intention, I chose to love you regardless who you are. I think in this world, there is one will never give up and forsake me who is my Lord, Jesus. This is reason for me to keep on continue to forgive and love.

Dennis, he is my friend who can see people’s past. He can read what happen on me on past. I was very excited and keep asking about me. I felt very happy about that. Joseph, he is my friend who can see people’s future. He can read my future but I felt very tension about that. Joseph said that it is not very good to know about your future and I totally agree with that. From Joseph, I know very clear about two guys who are very close with me. I very upset about that.

I thank God for these two unique person.