another wonderful day

Today I have a long talk with my manager. He pointed out all my weakness and urged to see my improvement.

I’m very thank God for him. He is my critical friend. Even his way is very straight forward. Every time I have a long talk to him, I definitely will cry. I could not control my tear. He keep remind me that tear is very precious and don’t simply let it came out. To be frank, I will cry wherever scold by people. I’ll improve myself and became tougher.

Finally, I find back my momentum to keep going. I will have a big breakthrough soon..

After end my discussion with him, I was with Jerry. My manager, Jack came to me again. He spoke: “So, you complain to Jerry already?” Erm… Hoi! Again! Why? Anything to do with me must relate to Jerry? I did write down everything Jack advised me. Jerry did force me to show him all the thing that I have write. Lol.. He is the one who wants to see.

Now, I busy for everything. I don’t even have a time to be alone. My free time is flooded by endless appointment dinner with friends. I do enjoy shopping alone. But, Jerry asked me to bring him along for next time. Maybe he is right because shopping alone is quite lonely. I get used that he is always beside me.

"have to" and "want to"

Last time, when I have a long talk with Jerry, we are discussion about “care”. I told him from the bottom of my heart, I know that when I became his team mate in the early stage all his care to me is “have to” not because he “wants to”. He admitted it. After our relationship is built, he begins to care me from his heart.

I’m old enough to differentiate what is genuine and what is artificial love. If you care people because you “want to”, please stop it. I will not appreciate it. You only make me felt that you are complete the task. Be sincere or else I will show you my face.

You might be felt that I’m changed. No, I’m not. I still the same. I don’t want be fake and put my mask to act the scene I don’t want to take part. As human being, we do have a feeling. People can felt it when they know that it is fake.

Forgive me if I hurt you. I just want be true to myself. I don’t want put my mask especially in front of you.

When the worship song is played, I could not stop myself to cry. I long for the intimacy with the Lord.

My life is mess. I’m finding the balance point between my career and my Christian life. Temptation keep pull me out from Your love, but You keep told me that You love me.

I really don’t want to fail this test. I don’t want my life without You. Even Your people fail me and make me felt disappointed, but I know my faith is not based on them but You alone.

I still remember Your promises. As long as I hold close on You, You’ll never let me go. Long for Your instruction came to my life again.

My choice is still run back to You.

tough

Today is super “heng” day for me! I was bitted by dog. Sob.. sob..

After I told my colleague about that, his reaction makes me felt want to faint. After very casual comfort, then he said “I did not take good care of you, Jerry definitely will scold me.” what???? It is me not Jerry bitten by dog!

Jerry did call me after I informed him. Both of us realize that everyone treats me as his “anak emas”. I’m been thinking whether this is a good thing or not. Like case today, everyone seems more focus him than me; in fact I’m the victim. Luckily, still have you whenever I need you the most.

I’m one of pioneer for company’s new division. Working hour is less and I have more personal time. The problem is my working hour is 3pm to 9.30pm. I can’t go cell group. Right now, I still adjust myself in division. To be frank and honest, I’m struggle in the new division and thought of change job keep arise. But, I don’t want to be a quitter and I should be an over comer! Challenger getting tough! I still find the way to balance myself and discover my weakness point to improve myself.

Be an over comer!

new challenge

I get shock from Jack! In the Thursday’s normal meeting, he announced that our team officially changes to new division. I just wonder why Jerry did not inform me first so that I can have mentally preparation. After that, I only know he also get to know about this on that morning.

I’m totally lost on yesterday and I don’t know how to handle the situation. Thanks for Jerry’s support even I know he is even more pressure than me. I try my best to give my moral support to him.

Jerry told me that he needs to go Melaka on Friday for training. In the morning, he asked me to take care of the group. After training class with Morgan, I gain back my spirit of fighting. Full recharged!

In the evening, Jack called me and asked me to do something. After that, I realize that I’m the one who coordinated the area. Again, I’m the one who need to manage the area but nobody told me about that.

This is the best chance for me to perform. To be frank, I hope Jerry is here for me. I strongly need support from him. But, our telephone bill will make us cry. So, I seek the help from Pang. Pang gives me a lot of solution for the problem. Thanks, Pang.

In this career life, I thank God for I have friends like them. Jerry is the one who always motivated me and give me all the support I want. Jerry can’t be my critical friend because he is pampered me too much. Even I’m the one who makes the mistake but he still side on me. He is my protector. Pang is my critical friend, he is able to analysis my mistake and problem easily. He guides me the way to solve every single problem I met. He is my mentor.


Jerry




Pang

This is the very first time to have dinner in my hostel after I’m starting my working life. I just felt relax.

Seriously think that I need to grow up and became more mature.

I was assigned to another team for today. When I know my buddy is the fellow I don’t like it and I begin to find the solution.

Well, the area manger can’t solve the problem and some more create another problem for me. He begins to break me and my anger is aroused. I could not control it and scold him back.

After that, I called Pang to ask him for a solution. By knowing he is busy and I don’t want disturb him and my problem remains there. Then, I seek help from Jerry. He called me. I was crying while he was speaking to me. Luckily he did not realize.

My performance is very bad! I could not focus my task. I should be mature to handle this entire thing. At the night, Pang called me. Again, I was crying while he was talking to me. The reasons I cry because people are care me.

The mistake today are in order to become leader, you can’t complaint. Don’t be emotional when people break you.

Be more mature and responsible! Don’t be emotional.

it all about learn

Become a leader is not easy. For past two days, I make a lot of mistake. I thank God for all this for enable me to be prepared to move another level.

Special thanks to Pang! I really learn a lot from him. He teaches me the way to handle the problem and reaction when the problem is occur. It is the time for me to grow up and make the decision.

Just now I have a long talk together with him. “Don’t worry, anything happen I still beside you to help you.” What he said make me felt very warm. Haha.. People around us are very concern about what we happen between us. To be frank, I don’t have any idea.

Let everything happen according to Your will.

drop by

Really long time did not update my blog. I busy with my working life. Truly, learning all the time make me became more mature and independent.

Well, my working is fruitful than my Christian life. I wonder that this is good sign or bad sign. I begin to realize why some people forget about God as soon as they stepped into working life. What I can do is just stay focus on God.

My leader is starting pump me up and pushes me to another level. The change is rapid and I learn to adapt it. More task and responsible are dedicated to me and I have to ensure that I can do all of them without fail.

Opportunity is in front of me. My goal is I’m the one being selected for next rising star trip. Do the best and be the best!