Tuesday, May 27, 2008

wednesday 10:24pm

“When you think the love you get is conditional than your self-worth is always up for grab. That is when you start promoting or protecting yourself all the time. You believe you have to impress others to get love. And you think to keep love, you have to give that good impression again and again. That’s sad way to live.

You wake up and finally understand there is no way you can achieve enough, gain enough recognition, obtain enough power or own enough thing to get anymore love. You have all the love you need. And you have it from the minute you were born.”

This is book which I read on the weekend. What the author said really delight me. When I in love with someone, I wasn’t me at all. I have to impress him to get his love. The funny thing is I told him that I love him unconditionally and now I found out that I love him conditionally. I have a thinking that even he doesn’t have anything now and I still will love him with all my heart. But if I change the job and not be tough in front of him and I’ll lost him for sure. I lost my self-worth because I was not his priority at all. Even though he told me that he appreciates me but action speak louder than action.

I really don’t know what is on your mind. Am I qualified to be your friend only or business partner? That is why I don’t want to keep in touch with you anymore. Why I should be the one who call you all the time and you never are the person doing so? I have so many questions but I don’t have the answer. I guess to you, I just like the dust and it is so meaningless to you. But for me, you are the one I only love and how I wish that you are last person for me. Maybe… it is the time for me let go..

Seriously, I don’t want to fall in love right now. I badly injured. I need time to recover. I strongly believe that anything I can felt and God can heal!

No comments: