When I’m at the junction, I begin to wonder whether my decision is correct or not. All these while, I walk according to God’s will or my own will.
I did not follow what I suppose to do when the issue related to relationship. I acted according to my own will not God wants.
All these while, I’m emotion shut down for every thing. I think I can’t overcome so many disappointments in the world and that is why I chose to do so. I have to apologize to Tim also, all the while I just play safe because I hate the feeling of love someone so much and at the same time I need to face the reality that I might lost him. Thanks to elane because she makes me realize my serious mistake.
From today onwards, I have to repent. I need to fully obey to God’s word.
God’s favor still falls upon me because I get compliment from my client which is WWF. They said that I represent them well and they are very appreciating my effort. It is because I carry passion while I’m working. I’m the representative of Christ in the market place. To shine among the others is task I failed to perform all these while but it is the time for me to move another level.
Be the salt in the earth and be the light of the world! Refresh my strength! Thanks to my beloved Lord, Jesus Christ!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
today is my birthday
Haha!! Today is my birthday. Well, it is an extremely good day for me! I highly excited! I ring the bell on my birthday!
This is my life having so many cheese cakes in birthday. I’m having two type of maple cheese cake. Keke~~ special thanks to Aileen and unknown cake shop owner.
Big thanks to my close brother also, Rico! Thanks for having McDonald together with me. Really enjoy having it together! ( :p thanks for the treat!)
I truly thank God for everything especially today! Well, I did not expect for anything. I felt blessed for every single thing happen in my life! Thanks for the people around me. If you are the one who read my blog now and you are forget or don’t know about my birthday, just want to let you know that you are forgiven with condition that buy Elizabeth’s perfume for me. Haha…
This is my life having so many cheese cakes in birthday. I’m having two type of maple cheese cake. Keke~~ special thanks to Aileen and unknown cake shop owner.
Big thanks to my close brother also, Rico! Thanks for having McDonald together with me. Really enjoy having it together! ( :p thanks for the treat!)
I truly thank God for everything especially today! Well, I did not expect for anything. I felt blessed for every single thing happen in my life! Thanks for the people around me. If you are the one who read my blog now and you are forget or don’t know about my birthday, just want to let you know that you are forgiven with condition that buy Elizabeth’s perfume for me. Haha…
Sunday, June 15, 2008
happy birthday, nicole!
Since I can’t pamper myself on tomorrow therefore I decided to celebrate my birthday today. My reward is secret recipe’s cheese cake! Even thought I can’t manage to eat New York cheese cake, but at least I can get maple cheese cake. All I want just cheese. Haha..
I decided to buy perfume for myself as birthday gift. Yes! I want to buy Elizabeth’s perfume! Just now, I went to shopping and tested a lot of brand. My body is full with fragrance now. For the past 25 year, I celebrate my birthday without boyfriend. So, I don’t think that I need anyone for next year.
I truly felt blessed that I manage to restore back my relationship with God! For the past one week, I suffer a very bad gastric until I think that I might get a very serious disease. In my mind, I did not scare to die. Die for me is a process and at least I can see my Lord face to face. My last request is I able to see him again and told him that I love him face to face. In my life, I never said “I love you” to anyone face to face yet.
I felt myself is silly. Please! It is just an imagination. The real me is super ego and I don’t think that I’ll do so. I felt pain until I can’t take it but I don’t ever have a thought to call him. It is so funny to inform him when I about to die. Even I disappear in this world, I think he will never know about it and he is not interest to know. His request was he wants me to forget him and at the same time he showed that he already forget me. What to do? I just follow what he wants.
It’s time to fight for my career! I know that I will see God’s promises came to pass again! Team leader, here I’m! Nicole, happy birthday! (Sound very pity by wish yourself happy birthday. Who care? As long as I know that I still have God with me. Jesus, I love you!)
I decided to buy perfume for myself as birthday gift. Yes! I want to buy Elizabeth’s perfume! Just now, I went to shopping and tested a lot of brand. My body is full with fragrance now. For the past 25 year, I celebrate my birthday without boyfriend. So, I don’t think that I need anyone for next year.
I truly felt blessed that I manage to restore back my relationship with God! For the past one week, I suffer a very bad gastric until I think that I might get a very serious disease. In my mind, I did not scare to die. Die for me is a process and at least I can see my Lord face to face. My last request is I able to see him again and told him that I love him face to face. In my life, I never said “I love you” to anyone face to face yet.
I felt myself is silly. Please! It is just an imagination. The real me is super ego and I don’t think that I’ll do so. I felt pain until I can’t take it but I don’t ever have a thought to call him. It is so funny to inform him when I about to die. Even I disappear in this world, I think he will never know about it and he is not interest to know. His request was he wants me to forget him and at the same time he showed that he already forget me. What to do? I just follow what he wants.
It’s time to fight for my career! I know that I will see God’s promises came to pass again! Team leader, here I’m! Nicole, happy birthday! (Sound very pity by wish yourself happy birthday. Who care? As long as I know that I still have God with me. Jesus, I love you!)
Saturday, June 14, 2008
painful week
I suffer a very bad gastric for almost a week! It was so terrible. It is also a signal for me that I should take care myself better. The feeling is like people stab your stomach and it was super pain! I could not stop it.
It was happen on the same time I was trained my two new guys. One of them left me, I blamed myself for that. I thank God that I still have another one. I will appreciate her more.
From this lesson, I learned something. Never look at the thing you have lost and you need appreciate what you still have. I admit that lost Tim was my greatest pain in my life. I cry over it then get over and it is not easy for me. Every time when I saw him make me became me so emotional and I totally can’t focus on what I should do. It is because my heart is pain wherever he is near. But, Tim makes me realize that I need to put God in my priority in everything I do. Right now, I learned to be neutral and he is just my working partner. I will be draw line with him very clearly.
The feeling of back to prayer meeting again is extremely good! God, I just love dwell inside Your presence! After so much, You are the only one who stay with me. It reminds me that what You told me in the beginning, even the whole world abandon me, not trust me but You are the only one will never forsake me. It is really time for me run back to You again!
I decided to follow what Eunice said, never step into any love relationship again for a year. Get my mind right and always put God in everything I do!
Next Monday 16th June is my birthday. I still need to work. Actually, I really hope that you can remember my birthday which is never will come true. A simple birthday greeting I think is better than anything in this world.
It was happen on the same time I was trained my two new guys. One of them left me, I blamed myself for that. I thank God that I still have another one. I will appreciate her more.
From this lesson, I learned something. Never look at the thing you have lost and you need appreciate what you still have. I admit that lost Tim was my greatest pain in my life. I cry over it then get over and it is not easy for me. Every time when I saw him make me became me so emotional and I totally can’t focus on what I should do. It is because my heart is pain wherever he is near. But, Tim makes me realize that I need to put God in my priority in everything I do. Right now, I learned to be neutral and he is just my working partner. I will be draw line with him very clearly.
The feeling of back to prayer meeting again is extremely good! God, I just love dwell inside Your presence! After so much, You are the only one who stay with me. It reminds me that what You told me in the beginning, even the whole world abandon me, not trust me but You are the only one will never forsake me. It is really time for me run back to You again!
I decided to follow what Eunice said, never step into any love relationship again for a year. Get my mind right and always put God in everything I do!
Next Monday 16th June is my birthday. I still need to work. Actually, I really hope that you can remember my birthday which is never will come true. A simple birthday greeting I think is better than anything in this world.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
another sunday
When I was met client on yesterday, he reads my palm. I told him that I’m still single and he told me I still few more boyfriends to go. Oh my God! He inform me that my third boyfriend is coming soon.. My reaction is I’m tired! I only want him.
I told my client that I love him very much and asked him that isn’t possible that I and he can be together again. His advise was both of you know the reason why can’t be together and what for to go back again.
From the bottom of my heart, he is the only one I love. I only like Jerry but it is not love. Separated with him, my heart yearns because it is pain. But I’ll respect his decision which is requested me to forget him. I’ll do it. I know that God will restore my broken heart. I thank God that I did not break his heart. If one people suffer from this, I glad that you are not that person. Our problem is both of us love ourselves too much and no one willing to give more.
Today’s sermon is absolutely correct. Falling love is very easy but stay in love is difficult. Chemistry result from falling love only can last for a few months. After that, stay in love is very difficult because it is required participant of both parties. I think none of us to put effort to nurture our love.
Before service start, I have a talk with Eunice. I felt want to cry. This is real me, I’m very fragile. I know that she is going to talk something with me. She challenges me to serve God and put God first in everything I do for a year. She told me that not to step into relationship during this period. I’m afraid to promise her anything. I told her that I want BUT.. Her answer is in God never had BUT only has IF. Just imagine that God never put me in His priority. I only found out that I never put God first in everything I do. My Lord, I’m sorry for what I have done.
I told my client that I love him very much and asked him that isn’t possible that I and he can be together again. His advise was both of you know the reason why can’t be together and what for to go back again.
From the bottom of my heart, he is the only one I love. I only like Jerry but it is not love. Separated with him, my heart yearns because it is pain. But I’ll respect his decision which is requested me to forget him. I’ll do it. I know that God will restore my broken heart. I thank God that I did not break his heart. If one people suffer from this, I glad that you are not that person. Our problem is both of us love ourselves too much and no one willing to give more.
Today’s sermon is absolutely correct. Falling love is very easy but stay in love is difficult. Chemistry result from falling love only can last for a few months. After that, stay in love is very difficult because it is required participant of both parties. I think none of us to put effort to nurture our love.
Before service start, I have a talk with Eunice. I felt want to cry. This is real me, I’m very fragile. I know that she is going to talk something with me. She challenges me to serve God and put God first in everything I do for a year. She told me that not to step into relationship during this period. I’m afraid to promise her anything. I told her that I want BUT.. Her answer is in God never had BUT only has IF. Just imagine that God never put me in His priority. I only found out that I never put God first in everything I do. My Lord, I’m sorry for what I have done.
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