2011

Goal n vision 2011

MAIN: get someone to marry me ^^

Career:
1) improves my English
2) change dept, answer call no more, don't want to deal with cust directly
3) became exec by end of this year

Personal
1) Deno be my shorten boyfriend
2) marry to rich guy even he won't love me much. As long as he can provide financial support for family
3) pay 1/4 ptptn
4) focus on my parents more
5) learn swimming

Spiritual
1) love God, love life
2) read bible everyday
3) before age of 35, go back to church

I wake up on 7am++, I struggle to go or not go his class. After an incident happens, I did not go to Deno's class.

Finally, I decided to go.

Hmm... everything is in correct timing. Actually I want to go gym late a bit. However my stomach pain, I hv not choice to go early. When I want to go up, I heard the aunty's voice n I know Deno is behind me.

I hv only feeling to want go away faster. To confirm he is behind me, I turned back n he right behind me. We look at each other without any special feeling.

I met back Boy who is my guy previously n he has became manager for branch Lot 10. Before the class begins, I have been thinking that my achievement is so low.

Soon after the class begins, I focus back. I told myself that I paid ok, there is nothing to ashamed n acted normally is ok. Out of surprise, he said hi to me again. My awkward is gone! Thanks Deno. By ur smile, my awkward n phobia is gone! Haha.. it is so good to back to his class again~~

If I know him, I know d I will not fall for him anymore. Days is nearer..

It's impossible for me not to attend Deno's class in a week...

Just lov lov lov his class so much!

I hv changed! I like the song which I'll never like last time.

Especially the song played by Deno, I'll like it so much~~

The only way makes me to stop to think abt him is I must get to know him. The more I know him, the more I felt d he is not the one for me.

Deno love to smile. however his smile is very fake which I don't like at all!

yesterday, he did politely smile n said hi wf me. when he smile to me, wat I thought was fake his smile again, haih...

I can see he is hot temper ppl like me.. very "chuan".

look at the schedule, he works everyday. he is a hardworking ppl. tis is point to learn. lov his work. use hardwork to earn money, never depend on ppl. cool~~

Something is not right. I became so blur.. I still can't identify the main course..

Deno's class suppose start on 4pm. But I wrongly saw the schedule n go on 5.10pm. Something is not right, coz I reached there and he said hi to me?! Then he continue to dance. I felt weird d why he didn't start the class.

Then other look at me then I just smile back to them.

After that, one of guy informed me that class has finished. Oops! My God.

When abt to left, Deno said: u just came in, isn't? Then I said never mind, I still got.. (i didn't finished my talk)
Deno reply: my class start on 4pm. It's fine. Me: huh? Deno: I said it's fine. Then I go out fr room.

After all, his gang of friends ar not that bad. But we definitely fr different world. Hmm.. why he didn't mention to me when I entered the class. So funny. I was so stupid n malu to the max!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last week can't go Myke's class so today go. Unfortunately he didn't turn up n replaced by someone else. Geramnya!!!

Aiyoo, I don't like that uncle at all.. he is so disgusting! I super angry!

After tis, I can calm myself down coz Deno's class on tmr. He will never give me tis kind of disappointment.. luckily. That's y I lov his class very much. Deno, I lov u! Muacks.....

If I know Myke, he will kena by me! Always like d, late+skipped class! Grrrr.....

Miss Deno's dance class. Even I just attend the class on Wed. I hv feeling of never see him for very long time...

战力指数变弱! I need be strong.. getting balance my feeling towards him. Not too strong.. just nice enough for he is dance instructor..^^

Deno shall be called 小肥恐龙。。really need to balance, lov him like crazy!!! Who can save me?!

He is short n fat. But I lov his fat coz if I can hug him, sure I'll felt nice nice.. crazy Nicole!

Everything abt him makes me crazy! Argh.........

这几天不知道为何特别想念 Deno，听到歌想他到要哭，上舞蹈课又想到他，在搞什么乱七八糟!

不过他是不可能喜欢我的! Nicole, wake up! Don't think too much!

I think too much after my sis said : the person u like is Deno. After his class, I told myself that I really think too much.

Angry bird really catch my attention however I can't recalled his face at all. Haha.. he make me felt that he look like Gan Ye Chen only.

I trully enjoy Felix's class. He is really good n not tat CC. Haha..

In my heart, I felt Deno is very important to me because I used to attend his class n it is my habit. Maybe I'll change, who knows.

I really hope d I can fall in love! Can't wait. My rich husband faster appear la.....

Went for Deno's class because I want to attend Felix's class. After I told myself that I'm going divert my focus fr Deno. Everything became so well.

Well, usually I wouldn't met him outside gym club. Thurs, when I was went back, I met him but I think he didn't saw me. Sometime, he will open the door after class ended. It was so long tat he didn't practice it. Today, out of blue mood he did so. I manage smile to him~~ last time, I will try to avoid contact wf him. Now, I changed.

Look at his group of friends, I think we are too different to mix around. I definitely don't like them.

It's so good can join his class like last time. I was so happy for every class. After I like him, I became angry abt the way he acted and wear. It's so good after everything back to normal. No tense.^^

Just treat me not medicine can cure.. I miss Deno so I'll attend his class on tmr...

Mis u like crazy. Learnt to accept ppl's weakness n strength, I think I referring to him only for tis moment.. wil try to applicable for everyone. Haha..

最爱的人
1) Deno
2) Angry bird

最想嫁的人
1) Deno
2) Aaron

理想老公
1) Aaron
2) Angry bird

理想情人
1) Deno

当然，这都是我一厢情愿的想法。

给我最爱的Deno,

这是一封你不会收到的信，这也是我现在的想法，所以任何时候郝会有更动。

很高兴去了Bollywood zumba，但你的服装让我吃惊! 因为你需要戴帽子所以你必须束起头发，看到真想给你一脚，像极一个女生，不禁又对你性取像产生怀疑，你到底是不是同性恋?!

虽然，昨天才碰到你可是我一种非常想见你的感觉，我无法自拔，因为我一点也不想。

但是，请你放心我不会加入你的生活，我绝对不会想认识你，对你造成任何困扰。有时，可以从你眼中看到悲伤，真正的你到底是一个怎样的人，我很好奇!!!

我选择远远的看你，不会有交集.. 真想好好抱你，和你一起。

最爱你的 Nicole

It's so long d I never sick. Sick make me blur in everything! My life seems like out of control. Well, I don't like it at all. The reason y I so into Deno because I don't any boyfriend. I'm so so need someone. I need a shoulder to lean and someone to hug whenever I need. Since I don't hv any, Deno temporary became my pillar.

However I wouldn't give myself a chance to know him, we ar not mean to be together.

Thanks for Deno n God, both of u give me support!

It will be great if I received sms fr Deno.. too bad it's not. Trully let go Alex teoh after knew d there's no possible between us.

换个方式看待我和Deno之间, 也许师徒关系好过单恋。因为看到另一个女子窃喜着可以上他的课时想到自己也是那么白痴的行为，马上提醒自己，他也只不过是一个舞蹈老师，为何为他如此神魂颠倒，我和他只不过提供者和需求者的角色。我需要一个释放压力的地方，而他是帮助我达到目的角色，仅此而已。

清醒后，可以更好的放纵自己上他的课，这种感觉真好，何必看到他和其他女子而心伤，换个方式不再钻牛角尖，让自己不再窒息，真好! 想通了!

So, he still is d one who make my day! even I'm kind of lost attitude in his class..

After his class, I repent being so unfriendly to him... after tis, I gain back the energy to strike d giant!

Thx, Deno. U're truly my sun!

I did a big mistakes yesterday. I showed face to Deno. He just like a big child in his wonderland. He is a very caring type ppl. When he noticed d you ar not right, he'll pay attention. But I don't like attention, I just like to watch him from far n don't want to hv any interaction...

Fr beginning of class, he is a kind of weird. Once class start, he changed totally. Tis is so called professional. Becoz of him, I try to be myself. When I sad, I don't want to show I'm happy in front of him. End up I show face to him. Argh........ but I don't think d he'll remember.

Seriously need adjust my life... at least I try, who knows wat will happen..

I going to move to elite team for 1 mths trials! The biggest challenge d I face is my English!!

According to Navin n Naga: if cust comment my English is not good, they'll change me to corp dept n promotion is grantee!

Seriously I felt so down after this!! Since they look down me, y still want to do so..

I felt that I scare abt unknown n felt helpless, argh................................................

I'll go gym to release tension! I felt Deno is my sun n I'm the sunflower. without sun, sunflower won't smile! In his dance, I found refuge! But sun and sunflower is not means to be together! For me, he just my dance coach.

Alex, thanks for greeting! Well, I know d I too old for u. In ur age, u still want explored n so many to try! But me, I just to hope can hv family life. I want to get married n hv children. N u don't like me at all, i'll move on.....

Now, I will stay focus on my career.. other thing, i'll leave it behind! Bye, Alex!

只想远远看着你，不要有交集，这样就不会伤心，也不会痛了。。。

Yesterday I was sent email to Alex. I found my heart is pain. Isn't indicated I should stay away fr him? Maybe yes.. he is second guy can make my heart pain. Lesson to learn fr previous: stay away or else u'll be hurt.

so hot!! Pls rain, God!

Well, I did another crazy thing. Abandon my sis n I went to attend Deno's class! Why he has such power to make me to do something becoz of him. I need to think abt it.....

I got compliment fr cust after being consultant for 1year++.. I'm so lousy, need to improved more!

Alex, I think he'll my company mate only.. possibility to meet each other = 0. If I meet him on tmr..........

thursday with deno

Here we go~~ Deno is a popular guy. I still curious abt his gender preference.

After the class, got a girl show that she appreciate him. When I abt to go back, He is very reluctantly lying on chair speak to a rich lady.. tis will happened if became his gf. Ppl like me sure can't take it! I hv set my mind d he is my coach who can make me happy. I can rush to his class. I will take staircase to shorter my journey which I'll never do at normal day. I will became tension coz can't go his class on time. I'll attend his class no matter how. To me, met him is my habbit. I can't imagine a week without see him. Do I like him? Yes, I like him. Tis kind of like is different fr Alex. Alex tear my heart apart, my heart pain becoz of him.. I was so into him.

No matter, my soul found a refuge in Deno.. thurs day with Deno light up my day!

为失恋而痛哭和伤心的是笨蛋。而我就是一个笨蛋! 从此以后, 我会更加小心。 为一个不会爱你的男人, 何必啊!

let go alex teoh

It's so stupid d u're so sad coz somebody don't like u..

everyone think d I like Deno. Common sense, if I like him y I need to be sad since I so enjoy his class so much.he also treat me n everybody so nice

D fact is d person I like is Alex. BUT I will let go him since I means nothing to him. I hate myself d when he is not reply my email then I became so sad. I don't like myself like tis... I'll change!

Past few days, I so sad becoz of Alex. I found out that I lost my weight! Gosh!

Since we ar not meant to be together... I should focus myself.. thanks for everything!

alex n deno

Well, I just can't imagine why Alex has such huge impact for me..
Lesson: learnt to guard my heart well.
Lesson: my heart is pain but he is not! Stop being so stupid!

Deno is my coach. Curious abt his gender preference. Hopefully he is not the gay. He is a person full wf mystery. The more attend his class, the more i'll be myself. Thanks God for him!

alex break my heart

Well, Deno is my coach. Just my coach.

Alex didn't reply my email, my heart pain. Tis is feeling make me want to hv big cry.
You break my heart..

龙爸爸

等着我的龙爸爸!

Hmm... I hv a very special feeling towards Deno. Coz the way he dance! Coz the way he acts. Coz the way he catch ppl's attention. The most important things is he has tattoo!

I hv very unique feeling abt ppl who has tattoo. It is becoz Tim has tattoo.

17th coming soon

After watched the drama, I cried for so long.. maybe I cried for u did not love me..

I asked myself whether I still love u? I can sure that I did not love u anymore.

Maybe I so sad d ur love to me is so little...

Or.. ur bday is coming soon, I sad that I can't celebrate wf u.. I so emo..

I decided not to disclosed tis website anymore.. only for me to express my real feeling.

changes

wow.. it is so amazing!

so much changes on me for past few months
contract staff-> permanent staff
work fr menara sunway-> menara maxis

one thing is remain unchanged
i'm still single!! haha..
need to work hard for that. ^^

let go

ahem.. when i thought that it is very hard to let tim go. in fact, i'm the main reason for that.

when i watched a drama, if u really want to let go something even thought 1 second, u are able to do so. i delight by that. goodbye my past, u're welcome-> my present!

at the same time, my heart seems cling to someone else. he is aaron ang. my god!!!! when i know that he might go to oversea to further his studies. for no reason, i'm so sad. last time, when i knew that he was after other girls, my heart sink into the deep sea.

i lost interest for all the thing include God. since there is no possible between us, i left God n church. isn't too much disapoitment or him, i'm not very sure.

to him, i just normal person. he might forget who am i.

to me, i just can't figure out that why his impact to me is so high. -_-

i think that there is one thing that will never change.

nothing gonna change my love for you.. tim

but i'll keep you in my heart safely.

2010

wow... i drop by to update something abt me..
i have so much changes after so long.

first of all, God seems so far to me. i left church and my faith. finally, i realized that the reason that i'm stayed in Christ because i wanted to be attached to the believer. my new goals is i decided to remain single. i hate to beg others to fetch me to church. when there is no purpose, i left.

secondly, all these while i always live for others. since young till my uni life, my life center is my mum. after i got attached, i live for them. after that, i live for God. i never live for myself. i'm doing too little to myself, i start spend more for myself, make myself more healthier.. i joined gym club and travel around.. all because me..

i happy with what i have. i told myself that if i got married, i'll only married to rich guy. yes, i after money.