happy birthday, Joseph

Yesterday was Joseph’s birthday. We purposely wait until the very last minute to help him to celebrate. He was shook about what we have done.

He told us that this is very first time he felt very touch about his birthday surprise. He was very happy until he wants to cry.

I felt very honor because I get this birthday boy’s prophecy. Thanks a lot, Joseph! He told me that he sense something about me. According to him, I will know a guy very soon who can understand me very well and I will like him very much. Joseph told me that the person will became my boyfriend. Whoa…. So sweet!

I don’t idea who is the one but I just felt very glad. Oh, yes! He is another Mr J in my life. Hiaks..

Happy.. happy.. happy..

room is clean

Time is showing 3.14am right now. I still not sleep and wait for my hair to turn dry.

The most meaningful thing that I’m done today is cleaning my room. I took more than 6 hour to clean it. I wipe every corner and I’m enjoying to doing so.

I felt so refresh after saw my room is clean.

Next week, I’ll busy for my work. I wonder that this is maybe the last time I can done for my room because I move out from here soon. Well, I still not find the suitable place yet. I don’t want share room with other people anymore. I prefer alone and don’t want to talk after a day.

Even I quite worry about my future but after I get promises from God and I felt more secure. I will never forget about encouragement from you also. Thanks a lot! I hope that my dream will turn to reality soon.

Thanks God for giving me a peace so that I have courage to face uncertainty.

my love

After I went for prayer meeting on Tuesday night, I thank God for You never fail to touch me again.

I can’t focus well in the first place; I have a lot of distraction. I keep telling myself to focus on You. After I sing a worship song, I still can’t overcome my distraction. A voice told me that keep your hand high and expected blessing from God. Even my hands was so tired, but I chose to obey the voice. As soon as I did what I was told to do, I heard my pastor said: “take a deep breath, when I counted to 3 and God will touch you”.

In my heart, I am thankful that I can be so sensitive to your voice. I’m still keeping my hand on high. Then pastor was starting to count, when number ‘3’ is being announced and I take a deep breath. After that, I felt the fresh touch from You. I weep and lost in the awe of You. You start to tell me that the journey is tough and as long as I hold you tight and You will never let me go. How a gentle touch from You yet it can bring a great impact to me.

I know that Your promises will came to pass. You still use people around me to remind me that shine for You in the market place while hold You close. I don’t idea how well I can be but I know that as long as I put my focus on You and You’ll always be there for me.

Deep in love in You, my Lord.

Mr J

I have so many Mr J in my life.

The first one is none other than Jesus. Jesus is my Savior and I can’t imagine what my life will be without Him. He is the center of my life. I learn to put Him first in whatever thing I do. I just love Him so much!

Jacob is one of my friends in church. He is a wise man in giving me a pierce of good advice. He makes me realize that how my mind is narrowed by the education system. If not him, I will be a normal fresh graduate who is seeking for job security rather than financial freedom.

Jack is my boss. He is the one who is constant concern for his employee. Even I will start for him on next month but I have received the sms from him. He is concern about me from his heart. I know that he will be the one of person that I can learn from especially in aspect of business.

The last one is my leader whose name is Jerry. Basically, he will do what Jack does. Sometimes, I found that it is annoying to receive his sms because he definitely knows what I’m doing from Jack. But, I appreciate for his attention on me.

I just received another sms from Jerry again and it makes me realize that my life is full of Mr J.

sotong

Recently, I have acted abnormally. I became very “sotong”. Alamak!

Just now, I left my key at keyhole. Luckily, no one took it. Thanks God! Another thing was I mistaken body shampoo as shampoo. Haiyoo…

Maybe I think too much…

put God first in everything you do

Throughout the whole week, I need to make a lot of decision that will determine my future.

Whenever I need to make decision, I like to ask people who really can guide me. Well, the problem still remains unresolved. Now, I finally find out the best way to make the decision. The solution is I submit myself to God.

Immediately right after my daily devotion, I get the answer for the decision that I should make. God is amazing! Once again, God prove again that I should fully dependent on Him instead of people. People around you can only provide suggestion because you are the one who run your life.

I have learned that put God first in every decision you need make. He definitely will answer your prayer. This is the very first time that I taste the feeling of firm after I make decision because I have faith on Him.

The choice you make will determine where you will stand tomorrow. My choice is set my eye focus on God. He is so real in my life!

at the cross road to make decision

After I went for today’s interview, I have strong confident to take challenger that I’ll face soon.

Well, the job is without basic pay and you will pay based on your performance. Maybe, you will think I’ll mad to make such “clever” decision. Before I went for today’s interview, I definitely will think as you are. The job opportunities do prepare me for the person I want to be. I’m still young and able to bear the loss. I have nothing and it does not cause me to lose anything. I really want to see how far I can go and how well I can be. If I lost, I can turn back to my starting point. The situation might be different if this is happen after a year. By then, I have a job already and I know I’ll never step out from my comfort zone.

What it really attracted me is on job training that I longed for. After I read “rich dad, poor dad”, I was thinking how I put it into reality world. I’m IT student without much knowledge in business field.

The working hour is long and it might cause me can’t attend my bible study group. My mind is full of the problem about my religion and my work. I think that maybe I should try to find another job which working hour is short and it will not cause me to have any problem.

I have the answer in my hand. I just wonder this is the answer came from God or Lucifer? I’m not interest in the job security. I’m looking for what I really learn and what kind of a person I’m. I’m only having this life to live and I just hope that through this I can know in the reality of world I can realize my dream or awaken me from this dream.

Before I can take management work, I have starting anything from bottom. I have approach people to join a program. Sound like direct sales? (I do felt so) But, the company is non-profit organization. The program that I’ll ask people to join is used Visa or Master Card to support the WWF funds. It is an awareness campaign to ask people to donate and save forest and endanger species. Bear in the mind that the payment is through credit card and the representative can’t accept the cash.

又是我

我发现我有一个问题，不只是好是坏。虽然我的脾气不是差到离谱，可是我的小姐脾气一发起来还不是一般人能阻止。

还有男生对我来说都一样，不管被别人讲到天上有地上无，在我面前只会原形毕露。就因我说话的方式不是很好，把我惹毛了，和我扛上了，王子都会变青蛙。

我是那种对人说人话，对鬼说鬼话的人。只要你是我的男性好朋友，都会破功。不管人家说到你的脾气有多好，你们还不是一样可以破口大骂我，在我面前发少爷脾气。对不起啦，不是你们不好，是我不好，就爱顶嘴，不然就话中带刺，所以你们的好脾气都被我磨完了，当然会引爆啦。当你们生气时，我绝对是后知后觉，小姐脾气也跟着来了，就跟你们顶上了。

不然就是文静的男生变成喋喋不休的人，因为我是“问题”少女，爱问，如果没有答案，就会被我烦死。话多了，戒心没了，所以当然是什么都可以说。

所以每次某某女生说某某男生时，除非你和我的关系很好，不然，我是不会揭穿“他”的真面目。只因我也习惯了你最真实的一面，如果你对我虚伪，我保证不会揭穿你，反正我才不屑与伪君子为友呢！

我就是一个这么矛盾的人，所以我的男性好朋友，你们就继续保持原状。虽然我会对别人对你的赞美大跌眼镜，安啦！我也不会轻易揭穿你。

interview

The making marriage work course is come to the end and I glad that I get the certificate. I graduated! haha..

After a very long break after I finished my studies, I went for my every first time interview.

Actually, I’m late for interview. The way the company interview people is quite fun. The boss interviews a few people at one time and it was like group discussion.

I did not answer well the question given by him. He asked me to define attitude and what can consider a good team work. I’m not interest to answer his question and I don’t know what I’m talk about. The last question was he requested me to ask him a question. Well, I make him talks a lot and it is seems like a one to one interview. haha…

At first, he is going not to hire person like me who cannot answer well his question. After that, he told me that I’m made him changed the decision and he is impressed by me. He is keep saying I’m impressed him. (LOL.. I really did not doing anything) When the interview is about ended, he tell the story about company and that time I thinking that whether I should go for the second interview or not.

So, after your performance impressed the employer then the second thing is what your employer can do to impress you. After interview session is ended, he asked me to stay back for few minute because he is schedule the second interview for me. He asked me to repeat what he said in the last moment. (Erm.. while he is speaking and I’m thinking about whether I matched the job or not.) Even I know what he said but I don’t remember it. Then, I ask him another question to escape from it (haha.. I make it. :p)

Before I left, he request me to turn out for the second interview. Ok, I’m thinking now.. What the boss reacted does make me happy and I can’t wait to share with you. haha…. Thanks God for all this! Well, my decision will always put Him in my priority. He will give me the best answer.

my birthday

Today is my birthday. Yeah! Last night, I have wonderful time together with my cell group members.

When I reach my hostel, I took photo together with Kherlit, Kathy and Jacob. Haha.. This is funny photo that we took. Jacob’s look is like …. (The animal which will show its tongue when it is angry…. Keke…) According to him, we are not cooperative. For my own opinion, nobody told us that the funny face should be like this. :p



I just love my present so much! Actually, I want a necklace with cross for a very long time. Finally, I get it! Thanks Kherlit!

i'm sick

From the picture above, it can tell that I'm sick. sob.. sob.. I need to rest now.

i'm silent because i'm upset

Girls tend to be silent when they are upset. How true it is? At least, it is apply on me. In the course of making marriage work, when my pastor said so and I’m surprising because I never realize that it does applied on me.

When I sad, I’ll not speak anything and my mind is wonder around. But, when I too tired and I also will be like that.

I’m emotionally shutdown during my secondary school because I did not meet an expectation that my mother and teacher have on me. Then, I started to felt discouragement and disappointment. Sooner, I’m numb my ability to feel and I don’t love anyone.

I seldom talks to my parents. The conservation always started and ends with scolding by them. I trained to be emotionally shutdown to them so whatever they talk to me and I’ll not respond to them.

Thing begins to changed when I have group of my friends with intention to melt an iceberg that is inside of me. They are important people to me because they make me changed a bit.

The tremendously changes is take place in my life after I have invited Jesus as my personal savior. I start to open up to the people around me and I start to love people. I have improved the relationship with my family members. I learn to love the people no matter how they treat me. Even something discouragement and disappointment do happen on me and I chose to overcome it because I know Jesus will always behind to watch over me.

One Life, One Love

One Life, One Love by BCS & KC

Who am I
That You would know me from the start
Set me apart
Who am I
That You would place eternity
Into my heart

You have given to me
More than this world could give
My purpose is found in You

One life, I lay at Your altar
One love, I have with You
Touch me again
Fill me as You hold
My outstretched hands

One word, You know I will follow
One heart, broken to You
Use me again
Your mercies follow me
For all my days

In Your presence
In Your power
Holy Spirit, I surrender

This is another song from City Harvest Church Singapore that touches me so much! In emerge Singapore; I know the answer why that pastor told me to be broken for the Lord.

In book Judges is about Gideon and three hundred men against Midianites.

…they blew the trumpets and broke the pitchers…

In order to let the light shine out, the pitchers must be broken. God will work through brokenness, but if you are not broken before the Lord, your light can’t shine off.

Be broken to Him. It is no longer I live, but Christ who lives in me.

单身

“很多人担心自己老了没有人照顾，便在突然发现年华不再时，匆匆忙忙寻找可以结婚的对象，真的结婚了，某一天醒来突然发现身边的人根本不是她想要的，然後接下来一辈子处在後悔当中。

可是又固执的不肯承认错误，认为结婚才算完成人生必经过程，对於其他的单身女子也多了催促，用著一样的话去威胁恐吓，好像所有人都得跟她一样，她的日子才会好过点，因为大家都一样，就算她不是找到最爱的那个，反正身边的人一样找不到真爱。

把生活焦点摆在「一切只为单身做准备」上头，她想的只有怎么照顾自己，怎么独自生活，而不是苦恼的想著要去抓住一个男人，离开单身这个身分。”

这是从某个网站抄写过来，写出我的心境。其中写的也是我友人的故事，他和她一起并不是因为爱，只是因为需要。我无法呵责他，这是他的选择。他却嘲笑我没有这种待遇，我不想多反驳他，我懒得对人解释这种小事，既然他这么认为我是一个没有吸引力的人，那我便是。这是他试探别人秘密的绝招，幸好没上当。嘻嘻！

出席新加坡参加脱颖而出大型布道会时，当台湾歌手刘耕宏当场向他女友求婚时，场面感人，我的眼泪夺眶而出，我无法控制，泪流满面。我还真不好意思，觉得自己太情绪化，后来才猛然发现和我坐在一的大部分女生也是哭得稀里哗啦。真爱难求! 也许，我被他们的真心感动，或者我伤心着我没有她的他。

当然，现阶段的我满意单身状况，如果没有让我触动我心的，那还是算了吧！我宁愿把时间花在想想如何增加我的财富。。

I’m strong disagreeing that money is root of evil because I’m believe that lack of money is root of evil.

women hard to understand

As a woman, I cannot understand well other women also.

Erm.. The story begins when my friend asked me whether I’m hometown already or not. Then, I informed her that I’ll stay here to search for a job. She is kind of angry to ask me why I don’t want come for her wedding.

After that, I recalled back that she is the one told me that her wedding on 8 July. I decided to ask her again. I’m right. The reason was she wants me to see her wedding photo. Phew…

I just felt something amiss and wonder she become so emotional. Suddenly, I understand the reason why. So, I text her again about whether she wants me become her bridesmaid. The answer is yes.

Sometimes, girls just assume that he or she should know what I try to say since he or she knows me well. LOL… Oklah, sometimes I also like that. I still learning.

emerge singapore 2007

Thanks for Kee Hiap fetched me to church on Wednesday night. After gather, we take a bus to go to Singapore.

It was not a peaceful journey, the bus driver keep on and off the light and I try to sleep as much as I can. Haih.. We stopped at Yong Peng to have our supper around 3am. We reached the Customs at 5am. Finally, we reached National University of Singapore (NUS) Prince George’s Park Residences before we get ready for service.

I have to say I’m too tired and I could not give my best on the first day. I can fall sleep while I’m standing during praise session. Oh My God! On the first day, all I know was I need rest and food. I’m hungry and super tired!

Here comes a second day, I’m still quite blurring on the morning session. After went back from Tampines Mall, I gained back my energy. I felt being recharged and I can concentrate the night session. Yeah! What a weird theory, shopping recovered back my energy! Haha…

Third day is definitely blast! The service is full of Love of God. Everyone over there was so touch! While we were waiting for bus, you can see everyone is urged to share how great the service was! We can fell the presence of God is strong! As for me, I also have strong desire to share with you about how great is our God! We are serving the awesome God! Yeah!

The last day is awesome! We never lack of presence of God be with us throughout the whole conference. He is so real! I can’t bear to depart from there. I hope I can linger more at there.

I love Your house because it is where Your presence dwell.

The conference truly inspired us! We are on fire on God! We are experience more about God! Well, it is required our obedience to keep the fire burning by daily devotion. It is not about how well you can begin it and it is all about how good you can end it.

To all my brother and sister in Christ, I’m blessed because you are my companion in this journey. Let us keep running together with Him!

part 1

this is part 1.

i'm back

Finally, I’m back to Kuala Lumpur again. I’m so tired! I should update friendster first or my blog, I don’t have idea. I just know that I need rest as much as I could.

More will coming..