The messages which were I have learnt from Pastor Kong Hee. I just like his message so much!
1.) Don’t look back at the OLD SINS that were already forgiven
2.) Don’t look back at the OLD DEFEAT that gets you down.
3.) Don’t look back at the OLD CONFLICTS that make you bitter.
4.) Don’t look back at the OLD VICTORIES and think you have achieved.
OLD SINS
Treat people not from my sincere heart, take everything and God for granted.
OLD DEFEAT
Unable to achieve TEAM LEADERSHIP.
OLD CONFLICTS
Relationship mess out, with Tim and Ben.
OLD VICTORIES
Build team, nearly hit the team leadership criteria.
Lesson of the day:
Don’t nurse it, don’t curse it, don’t rehearse it, release it, and God will dispense it.
Hallelujah!
Thanks God for this wonderful message!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
part 3 of week
Everything I start from 0 again. I want to build another 5 guys in UNICEF again. I want to take control of everything.
No love until I get ownership. Since Ben want to alone hence I decided not to disturb him again. He can do whatever he wants. He is my colleague only.
Thanks you God for making clear everything for me. Well, Tim is a best business partner only. He is not a right one as soul mate. The opportunity of working for one week makes me to understand everything.
Start from next week, I decided to go back to God’s arm. After so long, I found out that no matter what I do He is there for me. After I go against God, I found that He is still for me.
This time round, I did not pass with flying color. Sorry, God! Next time, I will do it better.
Everything is clear. It’s my turn not to look back everything. Focus ahead! Brand new NICOLE reborn again!
This is a week which impacts me so much. It will become another turning point of my life!
No love until I get ownership. Since Ben want to alone hence I decided not to disturb him again. He can do whatever he wants. He is my colleague only.
Thanks you God for making clear everything for me. Well, Tim is a best business partner only. He is not a right one as soul mate. The opportunity of working for one week makes me to understand everything.
Start from next week, I decided to go back to God’s arm. After so long, I found out that no matter what I do He is there for me. After I go against God, I found that He is still for me.
This time round, I did not pass with flying color. Sorry, God! Next time, I will do it better.
Everything is clear. It’s my turn not to look back everything. Focus ahead! Brand new NICOLE reborn again!
This is a week which impacts me so much. It will become another turning point of my life!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
part 2
It is absolutely good working experience together with Tim! He taught me a lot of thing. Yesterday I have talk with him and he informed me that he is getting married soon. Well, I do felt sad but I just sigh for time is flies. So much changes between us after so long.
I never knew that he is family man. He wanted for a family so much. In the public, he is so good in everything and has best attitude ever. But in the private, he is change to another people. I think he will tire out at one day. One thing that I know is I can motivate him.
I’m going buy Zippo lighter for Ben as birthday gift. I asked Tim to help me to pick one for him. He refused to do that. Maybe, this is his pride. After all, we were together. He can ignore my request and replaced with his own Zippo story.
Tim thought that I have a boyfriend. In fact, I don’t have any. Who cares? We are just not suitable for each other.
Recently, Ben makes me lost temper all the time. I given him a warning which is I going to fine if he did not pick up my call again. Now I think back and I just felt funny because I just nobody to him. But, how can I say so? It must be something to do with confidence level. Haha..
I never knew that he is family man. He wanted for a family so much. In the public, he is so good in everything and has best attitude ever. But in the private, he is change to another people. I think he will tire out at one day. One thing that I know is I can motivate him.
I’m going buy Zippo lighter for Ben as birthday gift. I asked Tim to help me to pick one for him. He refused to do that. Maybe, this is his pride. After all, we were together. He can ignore my request and replaced with his own Zippo story.
Tim thought that I have a boyfriend. In fact, I don’t have any. Who cares? We are just not suitable for each other.
Recently, Ben makes me lost temper all the time. I given him a warning which is I going to fine if he did not pick up my call again. Now I think back and I just felt funny because I just nobody to him. But, how can I say so? It must be something to do with confidence level. Haha..
Monday, December 1, 2008
first round
Finally, I surrender for event. Now, I need work closely with Visnu’s team.
Well, I should learn how to do from them but I’m in my room now. What the hell I’m doing now? Just want to have a good rest before strike back. I still remember that Tim shared with me a phase “the glory of victory is not when you are on the top of the world and everything is going your way. The glory of victory is when you fall down and strike back.”
This time round, Ben is not with me. But, I’m not alone. I still have my team mate with me. I should appreciate them more than everything.
Well, the challenge is tough. I strong believe that I will laugh at the end.
Well, I should learn how to do from them but I’m in my room now. What the hell I’m doing now? Just want to have a good rest before strike back. I still remember that Tim shared with me a phase “the glory of victory is not when you are on the top of the world and everything is going your way. The glory of victory is when you fall down and strike back.”
This time round, Ben is not with me. But, I’m not alone. I still have my team mate with me. I should appreciate them more than everything.
Well, the challenge is tough. I strong believe that I will laugh at the end.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
new life
Recently, I have a new decision. I’m not going to step into any relationship anymore. So, I decided to adopt children. I know that I’m crazy. I lost all faith about guys.
When I told Ben, he was very angry. He said that I’m so into children project till became this way. Well, I asked him to become one of my share holder and help me to rise up the child. Ha.. I’m going to make another decision which will drive my family crazy.
The first thing was I became Christian even my parent were angry about this. The second thing was I choose the job which they were not agree and always asked me to quit the job. This time round, I not plan to married and adopt children. Can I just be a normal person? I guess that it’s hard to become mummy’s girl again. Maybe, I just want to do the thing that no one is doing. I’m weird. But, I happy that who I’m.
Who knows? I might pregnant and became single mother. Haha.. It is simply because I don’t trust guy anymore. A guy is just my tool to get what I’m wanted. So much possibility.. I never know that what will happen.. I just felt excited about my life!
When I told Ben, he was very angry. He said that I’m so into children project till became this way. Well, I asked him to become one of my share holder and help me to rise up the child. Ha.. I’m going to make another decision which will drive my family crazy.
The first thing was I became Christian even my parent were angry about this. The second thing was I choose the job which they were not agree and always asked me to quit the job. This time round, I not plan to married and adopt children. Can I just be a normal person? I guess that it’s hard to become mummy’s girl again. Maybe, I just want to do the thing that no one is doing. I’m weird. But, I happy that who I’m.
Who knows? I might pregnant and became single mother. Haha.. It is simply because I don’t trust guy anymore. A guy is just my tool to get what I’m wanted. So much possibility.. I never know that what will happen.. I just felt excited about my life!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
new
Big challenge is ahead! Taking UNICEF is a big step ahead for me and it’s going a big turning point for me! I’m going to move to next level. Yeah! Because of this, I have to exchange something which is important to me.
Yesterday night, Tim called me and scolded me. I’m very disappointed with whatever he was doing in the past. I realized that he is the one who always said I’m not good enough and how bad I’m. Well, it does make me felt that I’m going prove that he is wrong. I hate people who are look down on me. Tim, thanks you because you always look down on me and doubt my ability.
The person who always did opposite whatever Tim was doing is BEN. Sincerely, he is the one who always give me the support. Right now, his grandma is admitted to hospital. He is tired because he is the one who take care his grandma now. But, he did call me. He informed me that he don’t even have a time to contact with others. Truly in my heart, no one is more important than him.
When the time in need, i know who is the real one and who is the false to me. BEN, thanks for everything! I love u!
Yesterday night, Tim called me and scolded me. I’m very disappointed with whatever he was doing in the past. I realized that he is the one who always said I’m not good enough and how bad I’m. Well, it does make me felt that I’m going prove that he is wrong. I hate people who are look down on me. Tim, thanks you because you always look down on me and doubt my ability.
The person who always did opposite whatever Tim was doing is BEN. Sincerely, he is the one who always give me the support. Right now, his grandma is admitted to hospital. He is tired because he is the one who take care his grandma now. But, he did call me. He informed me that he don’t even have a time to contact with others. Truly in my heart, no one is more important than him.
When the time in need, i know who is the real one and who is the false to me. BEN, thanks for everything! I love u!
Friday, November 7, 2008
ben, i miss u
Just now, I send sms Ben through maxis broadband. I don’t know what happen on me. I was crying while I send sms to him. I so afraid I’ll lost him.
I don’t know what happen on me. I just keep on crying when I saw his sms. I miss him crazy.
I don’t know what happen on me. I just keep on crying when I saw his sms. I miss him crazy.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
team leader
Now, I’m on the way to qualify my team leadership. I can’t imagine lost attitude because of another thing.
I might take up UNICEF project, I want to faint already. It makes me found out that I’m so weak!
Jack was very angry because Chia showed my sms to him. When Jack told me about that I told myself that I not going to trust guy anymore. Chia, I ‘m very upset.
When Ben gave me the key chain which he brought back from Singapore to me, then I hug him straight away. What happen to me? I don’t know. I know that he is the only one I need. Ben, I miss u very much!
I might take up UNICEF project, I want to faint already. It makes me found out that I’m so weak!
Jack was very angry because Chia showed my sms to him. When Jack told me about that I told myself that I not going to trust guy anymore. Chia, I ‘m very upset.
When Ben gave me the key chain which he brought back from Singapore to me, then I hug him straight away. What happen to me? I don’t know. I know that he is the only one I need. Ben, I miss u very much!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Tim again...
Well, this is another Friday. It means that I have to meet Tim again. It is a very tough job.
While he is running leader’s meeting, I don’t even look at him. But, I still write down whatever he said because it was meaningful. I just thought that so many people and he will not notice me.
I felt that he is just another people in Cobra for me. It is better that we have a better business relationship. So, I talk to him like normal. He told me that I did not paid attention while he was running the meeting, and then I just showed him that I wrote down whatever he said. Phew.. haha.. you can’t catch me. When he was talking to me, I asked myself this question whether I have feeling to kiss this guy again. The answer is no and just think that he is Ben. I miss Ben.
After that, he calls me that he was having lunch with his fiancée. Well, my heart is pain. But, I still remain cool and inform him that just let me know when you are getting married. I don’t really know his intention. For me, I try to calm myself and told myself that I just normal person to him. Right now, I still felt very angry because Tim is the shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit person who can affect my feeling. %$%^%#*&$#$#@Q@#
If you asked me that who is more important to me, I think that I like Tim more than Ben.
I need Ben more than Tim. But, I lost both of them because they are not belong to me. I think that career is more important to me. Right now, I felt disappointed on Tim and Ben felt disappointed on me. It is stupid circle. It is ends now because I don’t want to make myself suffer again. Bye bye, stupid Tim!
While he is running leader’s meeting, I don’t even look at him. But, I still write down whatever he said because it was meaningful. I just thought that so many people and he will not notice me.
I felt that he is just another people in Cobra for me. It is better that we have a better business relationship. So, I talk to him like normal. He told me that I did not paid attention while he was running the meeting, and then I just showed him that I wrote down whatever he said. Phew.. haha.. you can’t catch me. When he was talking to me, I asked myself this question whether I have feeling to kiss this guy again. The answer is no and just think that he is Ben. I miss Ben.
After that, he calls me that he was having lunch with his fiancée. Well, my heart is pain. But, I still remain cool and inform him that just let me know when you are getting married. I don’t really know his intention. For me, I try to calm myself and told myself that I just normal person to him. Right now, I still felt very angry because Tim is the shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit person who can affect my feeling. %$%^%#*&$#$#@Q@#
If you asked me that who is more important to me, I think that I like Tim more than Ben.
I need Ben more than Tim. But, I lost both of them because they are not belong to me. I think that career is more important to me. Right now, I felt disappointed on Tim and Ben felt disappointed on me. It is stupid circle. It is ends now because I don’t want to make myself suffer again. Bye bye, stupid Tim!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
shit people = sk
Fail to be a good leader for the past few days. The shit thing happens again. I should not go to meet the people who are negative. Sorry, my beloved guys! Your leader is coming back on tomorrow. Yeah!
SK is the person who I need to keep distance. She is the one who ask me to quit the job and the same time asked me to pay for sing K. funny! Sorry, I don’t want to be like you who are money is not enough. Please be realistic, look at your situation and I think you better take care yourself more.
She even said how bad Ben was. Well, in this world I don’t think there will be a perfect person. I understand he is not a good guy but I don’t really care. I only know when I felt down and I need support he is there. While I was crying, he is there. He always understands me very well.
In my heart, I really need to thanks Chia! He always is there for me to help to solve my problem.
My conclusion is stay away from the person who thinks themselves very good. When they are know that they are failure and they will push someone down together. When I success, I’ll never forget how you look down on me. I hate the people who are enjoying watch other people’s fall. I never was going to meet her again. Really shit people!
SK is the person who I need to keep distance. She is the one who ask me to quit the job and the same time asked me to pay for sing K. funny! Sorry, I don’t want to be like you who are money is not enough. Please be realistic, look at your situation and I think you better take care yourself more.
She even said how bad Ben was. Well, in this world I don’t think there will be a perfect person. I understand he is not a good guy but I don’t really care. I only know when I felt down and I need support he is there. While I was crying, he is there. He always understands me very well.
In my heart, I really need to thanks Chia! He always is there for me to help to solve my problem.
My conclusion is stay away from the person who thinks themselves very good. When they are know that they are failure and they will push someone down together. When I success, I’ll never forget how you look down on me. I hate the people who are enjoying watch other people’s fall. I never was going to meet her again. Really shit people!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
y like that?
Well, it’s extremely bad day after meet Tim! I hope that I will not meet him again. But, it is impossible. Purposely act like don’t bother him but in the end I’m the one who sad. I think Ben detect my emotion faster than me.
I never know that he can create such huge impact on me. I found out that I not understand myself at all.
Sorry, Ben. I know that you are sad. Tim still very important to me.
I never know that he can create such huge impact on me. I found out that I not understand myself at all.
Sorry, Ben. I know that you are sad. Tim still very important to me.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
time is near
Time is flies.. Deadline is near.
I stuck in my career. I don’t want to fall in love for this moment. I love Ben but I chose to be his good friend. His unfailing support makes me touch. Just like Tim, before that he always there for me, but after anything we are become stranger. I don’t want to lose anyone again. The best thing is we are best friend, not expectation from each other, no pressure and no commitment.
Now, I am getting tough. Call from Ben makes me cry again. Truly, I’m having him in my life is more than enough. Ben, thanks for everything!
I stuck in my career. I don’t want to fall in love for this moment. I love Ben but I chose to be his good friend. His unfailing support makes me touch. Just like Tim, before that he always there for me, but after anything we are become stranger. I don’t want to lose anyone again. The best thing is we are best friend, not expectation from each other, no pressure and no commitment.
Now, I am getting tough. Call from Ben makes me cry again. Truly, I’m having him in my life is more than enough. Ben, thanks for everything!
Monday, October 20, 2008
i'm back
Ha.. finally I got time to blog blog blog.
Well, since this is my personal blog, I’m going express the real me. So, I don’t really care who the one read my blog are. Well, the story begun when I sign in to the MSN, out of curious I chat with someone then found out she is one of church member. She tries to follow up me, PLEASE! I really appreciate her but she doesn’t know my story.
The story is I don’t like my cg, I can’t felt the love and also sense of belongingness. I really hate the situation that when I really put my effort to attend the event of night and I always have problem that no one is willing to fetch me back. Due to my work, if I want to go back early then I have really worked my day out to make sure that it happened. The outcome really upset me. I still remember that when I make an effort to attend the night event, when the time is going back they are pushing each other to fetch me back. I very frustrated then shout out; you all just need to drop me to Sunway Pyramid then I’ll find my way back. Then they just fetch me back unwillingly. Since then, I told myself that I’ll never put myself that kind of situation which it really embarrassed me. I really felt super frustrated! I need to left my team behind and I felt that I’m burden for my church member. It really lose-lose situation. Might as well that I focus on my career more and put all attention to my team who are benefit me more.
Lunch section is even worse; I think that it is better than I skip all. Same thing happen, transportation problem. I can’t imagine that you can ask people how to go back without any solution. If don’t have it, please do not ask. I rather spend my time to read few pages of book rather than spend time to talk nonsense. I really hate the feeling of I have to beg you then you only fetch me back.
You might think that I’m negative thinking, the one who we serve is God and not a people. Don’t let human error effect the walk with God. Well, the thing was I work before and I still go back to church event willingness. It is all about leadership problem. I admit that I’m a business mentality person. Since the thing is not going to benefit me and I suffer so much due to my wrong decision. The lesson is never repeating the mistake again! I’m a girl who is very normal. Emotional problem can never happen on my work place while I’m leading a team. I’m real me in front of God, I don’t want put up my mask. Concern is not out of sincere heart, please don’t do it if you are not genuine. I really felt irritating and do not blame me to fuck you up! Everyone has a temper and I can tell you that my one is super duper bad, please do not try me up! Thanks for your cooperation.
I love my church and my God! The person I refer is only minority group. When I get promoted, I will solve it soon…
Well, since this is my personal blog, I’m going express the real me. So, I don’t really care who the one read my blog are. Well, the story begun when I sign in to the MSN, out of curious I chat with someone then found out she is one of church member. She tries to follow up me, PLEASE! I really appreciate her but she doesn’t know my story.
The story is I don’t like my cg, I can’t felt the love and also sense of belongingness. I really hate the situation that when I really put my effort to attend the event of night and I always have problem that no one is willing to fetch me back. Due to my work, if I want to go back early then I have really worked my day out to make sure that it happened. The outcome really upset me. I still remember that when I make an effort to attend the night event, when the time is going back they are pushing each other to fetch me back. I very frustrated then shout out; you all just need to drop me to Sunway Pyramid then I’ll find my way back. Then they just fetch me back unwillingly. Since then, I told myself that I’ll never put myself that kind of situation which it really embarrassed me. I really felt super frustrated! I need to left my team behind and I felt that I’m burden for my church member. It really lose-lose situation. Might as well that I focus on my career more and put all attention to my team who are benefit me more.
Lunch section is even worse; I think that it is better than I skip all. Same thing happen, transportation problem. I can’t imagine that you can ask people how to go back without any solution. If don’t have it, please do not ask. I rather spend my time to read few pages of book rather than spend time to talk nonsense. I really hate the feeling of I have to beg you then you only fetch me back.
You might think that I’m negative thinking, the one who we serve is God and not a people. Don’t let human error effect the walk with God. Well, the thing was I work before and I still go back to church event willingness. It is all about leadership problem. I admit that I’m a business mentality person. Since the thing is not going to benefit me and I suffer so much due to my wrong decision. The lesson is never repeating the mistake again! I’m a girl who is very normal. Emotional problem can never happen on my work place while I’m leading a team. I’m real me in front of God, I don’t want put up my mask. Concern is not out of sincere heart, please don’t do it if you are not genuine. I really felt irritating and do not blame me to fuck you up! Everyone has a temper and I can tell you that my one is super duper bad, please do not try me up! Thanks for your cooperation.
I love my church and my God! The person I refer is only minority group. When I get promoted, I will solve it soon…
Friday, October 17, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
hometown
right now, i'm in my house which i never step in for past 4 months.
look up to my parent, they still wish that i can quit the job and further my studies. this is the reason why i don't want to back home.
i gave myself deadline already if i can't make it in the half year then i will quit the job. in the end of september, 29/9/2008 my goal is to became team leader! 17/11/2008 is to became assitant owner!
last saturday, i spent more than 3 hour to finish albom minston's book, 5 person you'll meet at the heaven. i was crying when i read until the fourth person. in my heart, the book did not touch me but i really hope that i'm your number fourth person. but, it's impossible. realilty is always cruel.
right now, i'm looking forward to thailand trip. i want to go thailand! one reason because wong chee wai is there, oh my God! he makes me so excited! he is primarly key of my team growing! to be enthusiasm of what you are doing, as the result you will able to attract the group of people to run the vision together with you! wee~~ wee~~ can't wait to meet him again! wahaha!!
FOCUS. forget other commitment unitl success! well, thinking about him makes my life so miserable and i'm nothing to him. focus on the thing that can make me excited is more important! wong chee wai! yeah!
just visit jacob's blog, his blog delights me! thanks bro! i thanks you Father for the wonderful people who i meet in the earth, i cherish what i have! i just love your guys so much!
look up to my parent, they still wish that i can quit the job and further my studies. this is the reason why i don't want to back home.
i gave myself deadline already if i can't make it in the half year then i will quit the job. in the end of september, 29/9/2008 my goal is to became team leader! 17/11/2008 is to became assitant owner!
last saturday, i spent more than 3 hour to finish albom minston's book, 5 person you'll meet at the heaven. i was crying when i read until the fourth person. in my heart, the book did not touch me but i really hope that i'm your number fourth person. but, it's impossible. realilty is always cruel.
right now, i'm looking forward to thailand trip. i want to go thailand! one reason because wong chee wai is there, oh my God! he makes me so excited! he is primarly key of my team growing! to be enthusiasm of what you are doing, as the result you will able to attract the group of people to run the vision together with you! wee~~ wee~~ can't wait to meet him again! wahaha!!
FOCUS. forget other commitment unitl success! well, thinking about him makes my life so miserable and i'm nothing to him. focus on the thing that can make me excited is more important! wong chee wai! yeah!
just visit jacob's blog, his blog delights me! thanks bro! i thanks you Father for the wonderful people who i meet in the earth, i cherish what i have! i just love your guys so much!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
my mr J, Jesus, Jack, Jacob n Jeff!
Haha… I really like the feeling of to become high roller!!! This morning I have a small talk with my owner, I decided to change!
All these while, I have been giving myself an excuse of don’t want to do sales. Even though I know that the reason of “do” but I chose not to “do” it. I think human being like to stay in cocoon and don’t dare to make changes.
I also very dislike the feeling of failure. I chose to run away from reality. I pretend I don’t have ability of anything. I think success seems too real to be truth. So I decide to think I’ll be a failure.
Thanks for Jacob, never fail to give me the on time support!
Just now I got an email from Jeff, just like what I expected that he really angry of why I became so negative! Thanks you for him to become my critical friend! Never ever pamper me.
I excited to see myself at the next level! Go for more!
Why I’m so emotional? It is not first time I have this mistake, I pray that I never repeat again! Never forget about Jesus! Thanks my beloved Lord!
All these while, I have been giving myself an excuse of don’t want to do sales. Even though I know that the reason of “do” but I chose not to “do” it. I think human being like to stay in cocoon and don’t dare to make changes.
I also very dislike the feeling of failure. I chose to run away from reality. I pretend I don’t have ability of anything. I think success seems too real to be truth. So I decide to think I’ll be a failure.
Thanks for Jacob, never fail to give me the on time support!
Just now I got an email from Jeff, just like what I expected that he really angry of why I became so negative! Thanks you for him to become my critical friend! Never ever pamper me.
I excited to see myself at the next level! Go for more!
Why I’m so emotional? It is not first time I have this mistake, I pray that I never repeat again! Never forget about Jesus! Thanks my beloved Lord!
Saturday, August 9, 2008
stress..
I strongly need support. Training people is not an easy job. I blame myself for unable to do it well.
Challenge is getting tough. I really need someone who can give me the support whenever I need it.
It was so long that I did not call Jeff at all. Whenever I face any difficulty, he is one of the people I think of. He is one of person can make me to listen to him and follow what he said. I glad that he is always give me the support whenever I need it.
In order to achieve my goal, I have to bounce back as soon as I can. Sometimes, I really felt tired and helpless. In my heart, I know very well that if I can overcome this challenge and it will bring me to another level. Team leader is my reward.
Father, I really need your help, please give me the person who I can rely on.
Challenge is getting tough. I really need someone who can give me the support whenever I need it.
It was so long that I did not call Jeff at all. Whenever I face any difficulty, he is one of the people I think of. He is one of person can make me to listen to him and follow what he said. I glad that he is always give me the support whenever I need it.
In order to achieve my goal, I have to bounce back as soon as I can. Sometimes, I really felt tired and helpless. In my heart, I know very well that if I can overcome this challenge and it will bring me to another level. Team leader is my reward.
Father, I really need your help, please give me the person who I can rely on.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
team leader
My career starts flying. In order to fly high, I really need to change my attitude. I’m going to bring the team to Klang for road trip. Last time I did not manage the team properly and I pray that I do well for this time.
I am aiming for the Thailand Trip! I want to meet and know Chee Wai personally. I know it will be a strong turning point for me.
Once again, I proved that soothsayer cannot be trusted. I still remember my friend said that losing him means that I’ll lost direction. Haha~~ You yourself is a key point for everything!
Within 2 month, I’m going to be team leader! I’m serious about my every step. No time for me to waste! When people is laugh at me because I’m holding “team leader”’s name card, I going to prove to you that I’ll make it!
My heart is excited for every moment! I’m going to see God’s promise came to pass again! God is my strength to move on and no one can take Him away from me!
I am aiming for the Thailand Trip! I want to meet and know Chee Wai personally. I know it will be a strong turning point for me.
Once again, I proved that soothsayer cannot be trusted. I still remember my friend said that losing him means that I’ll lost direction. Haha~~ You yourself is a key point for everything!
Within 2 month, I’m going to be team leader! I’m serious about my every step. No time for me to waste! When people is laugh at me because I’m holding “team leader”’s name card, I going to prove to you that I’ll make it!
My heart is excited for every moment! I’m going to see God’s promise came to pass again! God is my strength to move on and no one can take Him away from me!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
rally
Yesterday was rally. I’m so happy that I get leadership award! But after saw that he was with another girl, I was so sad.
I understand very well that I can’t be with him. I know very well that God always is my final decision. I can’t act according to my own will again. I scared that I will lose God again. It is just a matter of time.
In next one year, I will not step into any relationship. This is promise that I have to keep it. I need to fight for my career. What kind of lifestyle I will have in the future is what decision that I have on today.
Purpose of driven written by Rick Warren really delights me. I found out that I use my own strength to make all the things happen is so hard. Without God, I just nothing.
One of the best thing in the rally, I took photo together with Wong Chin Wai! He is my dream guy. Haha.. it is just a dream. :p
My conclusion is I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me!
I understand very well that I can’t be with him. I know very well that God always is my final decision. I can’t act according to my own will again. I scared that I will lose God again. It is just a matter of time.
In next one year, I will not step into any relationship. This is promise that I have to keep it. I need to fight for my career. What kind of lifestyle I will have in the future is what decision that I have on today.
Purpose of driven written by Rick Warren really delights me. I found out that I use my own strength to make all the things happen is so hard. Without God, I just nothing.
One of the best thing in the rally, I took photo together with Wong Chin Wai! He is my dream guy. Haha.. it is just a dream. :p
My conclusion is I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me!
pass is pass
Today is a disappointment day. As a usual, you did not respond to my call.
A person who you think is a friend but actually is not. My heart is hurt. Finally, I understand that why Tim said I’m only one he has in here. A friend used to give you comfort whenever you need and been through tough time together will suddenly became stranger just like that. I’m crying for reality.
I wish I can do more for God now. God is the only I can trust.
A person who you think is a friend but actually is not. My heart is hurt. Finally, I understand that why Tim said I’m only one he has in here. A friend used to give you comfort whenever you need and been through tough time together will suddenly became stranger just like that. I’m crying for reality.
I wish I can do more for God now. God is the only I can trust.
Thanks God for every blessing! Thanks for I able restore back the relationship with Tim as friend. I think that this is a best way for both of us.
I love his smile. It was so genuine because it came from his heart. It is so real. Nothing can compare with it! We did not talk with each other for a long time. We have so many misunderstanding between each other. I glad that we manage to clear it all. To be frank and honest, I hate the feeling of no response from him. I send him a sms or call him but he did not response to me at all. I’m scare.
While I was on my way to go back home today, Emmy was calling me. After that, I was sitting on the stair and I have no intention to go back to my room. This is reason why I’m here and writing my blog.
I don’t have the reason to go back. Today, I was not me at all. I lost my direction. I wanted to change the job, change the people I met and change everything. Maybe, I will not keep in touch with anyone I know anymore. I need a brand new start place. Kuala Lumpur maybe is not my choice anymore. My heart is tired. It is dead for whole day.
I love his smile. It was so genuine because it came from his heart. It is so real. Nothing can compare with it! We did not talk with each other for a long time. We have so many misunderstanding between each other. I glad that we manage to clear it all. To be frank and honest, I hate the feeling of no response from him. I send him a sms or call him but he did not response to me at all. I’m scare.
While I was on my way to go back home today, Emmy was calling me. After that, I was sitting on the stair and I have no intention to go back to my room. This is reason why I’m here and writing my blog.
I don’t have the reason to go back. Today, I was not me at all. I lost my direction. I wanted to change the job, change the people I met and change everything. Maybe, I will not keep in touch with anyone I know anymore. I need a brand new start place. Kuala Lumpur maybe is not my choice anymore. My heart is tired. It is dead for whole day.
专一
专一，每一人对它的定义都不同。
我的原则是只要对方是有另一半，我是不会对他有任何幻想。棒打鸳鸯是一种无法接受的事实，第三者是不可能得到幸福的，并且是一段不被祝福的恋情。
当一对男女相遇时，其中一方已有交往的对象，两人又互相有好感，你会怎么处理这种情形？第一，你会不顾一切和那人坠入爱河，完全不理世俗的眼神。第二，时时提醒自己不要做第三者。而身为那个二选一的你又会如何？第一，忠于自己的选择。第二，选择做背叛者。
我是很简单的人，我永远不喜欢做被伤害的人，所以我不会做伤害人的人。当我喜欢一个人的同时我也认定你了，在我的世界只有我的男朋友是男人，其他人都不是。哈哈！我讨厌不专一的人。我的朋友对我说了一句，也要是对对的人专一，如果找到适合的，难道就要放走他？
“爱的感觉总是在一开始甜蜜，总觉得多了一个人陪，多了一个人帮你分担，你终于不再孤单了，因为至少有一个人想着你，恋着你，只要能在一起就是好的。但是慢慢地，随着认识的加深，你开始发现了对方的缺点，于是问题一个接一个出现，你开始烦和累，甚至要逃避~ 其实，爱情就像磨石子一样，有人总想捡到一个适合自己的石子，但你又如何知道什么时候能够捡到呢？或许刚捡到的时候，你不是很满意，但是请记住，人是很有弹性的，很多事情是可以改变的，只要你有心，有勇气，与其到处去捡未知的石子，倒不如将自己已拥有的石子磨亮磨光，你明了吗？别把随地的未知石子都捡，珍惜所拥有的。”
这是一位朋友和我分享的，你得到答案了吗？我只想对他说，有你真好！
我的原则是只要对方是有另一半，我是不会对他有任何幻想。棒打鸳鸯是一种无法接受的事实，第三者是不可能得到幸福的，并且是一段不被祝福的恋情。
当一对男女相遇时，其中一方已有交往的对象，两人又互相有好感，你会怎么处理这种情形？第一，你会不顾一切和那人坠入爱河，完全不理世俗的眼神。第二，时时提醒自己不要做第三者。而身为那个二选一的你又会如何？第一，忠于自己的选择。第二，选择做背叛者。
我是很简单的人，我永远不喜欢做被伤害的人，所以我不会做伤害人的人。当我喜欢一个人的同时我也认定你了，在我的世界只有我的男朋友是男人，其他人都不是。哈哈！我讨厌不专一的人。我的朋友对我说了一句，也要是对对的人专一，如果找到适合的，难道就要放走他？
“爱的感觉总是在一开始甜蜜，总觉得多了一个人陪，多了一个人帮你分担，你终于不再孤单了，因为至少有一个人想着你，恋着你，只要能在一起就是好的。但是慢慢地，随着认识的加深，你开始发现了对方的缺点，于是问题一个接一个出现，你开始烦和累，甚至要逃避~ 其实，爱情就像磨石子一样，有人总想捡到一个适合自己的石子，但你又如何知道什么时候能够捡到呢？或许刚捡到的时候，你不是很满意，但是请记住，人是很有弹性的，很多事情是可以改变的，只要你有心，有勇气，与其到处去捡未知的石子，倒不如将自己已拥有的石子磨亮磨光，你明了吗？别把随地的未知石子都捡，珍惜所拥有的。”
这是一位朋友和我分享的，你得到答案了吗？我只想对他说，有你真好！
Sunday, June 22, 2008
new walk
When I’m at the junction, I begin to wonder whether my decision is correct or not. All these while, I walk according to God’s will or my own will.
I did not follow what I suppose to do when the issue related to relationship. I acted according to my own will not God wants.
All these while, I’m emotion shut down for every thing. I think I can’t overcome so many disappointments in the world and that is why I chose to do so. I have to apologize to Tim also, all the while I just play safe because I hate the feeling of love someone so much and at the same time I need to face the reality that I might lost him. Thanks to elane because she makes me realize my serious mistake.
From today onwards, I have to repent. I need to fully obey to God’s word.
God’s favor still falls upon me because I get compliment from my client which is WWF. They said that I represent them well and they are very appreciating my effort. It is because I carry passion while I’m working. I’m the representative of Christ in the market place. To shine among the others is task I failed to perform all these while but it is the time for me to move another level.
Be the salt in the earth and be the light of the world! Refresh my strength! Thanks to my beloved Lord, Jesus Christ!
I did not follow what I suppose to do when the issue related to relationship. I acted according to my own will not God wants.
All these while, I’m emotion shut down for every thing. I think I can’t overcome so many disappointments in the world and that is why I chose to do so. I have to apologize to Tim also, all the while I just play safe because I hate the feeling of love someone so much and at the same time I need to face the reality that I might lost him. Thanks to elane because she makes me realize my serious mistake.
From today onwards, I have to repent. I need to fully obey to God’s word.
God’s favor still falls upon me because I get compliment from my client which is WWF. They said that I represent them well and they are very appreciating my effort. It is because I carry passion while I’m working. I’m the representative of Christ in the market place. To shine among the others is task I failed to perform all these while but it is the time for me to move another level.
Be the salt in the earth and be the light of the world! Refresh my strength! Thanks to my beloved Lord, Jesus Christ!
Monday, June 16, 2008
today is my birthday
Haha!! Today is my birthday. Well, it is an extremely good day for me! I highly excited! I ring the bell on my birthday!
This is my life having so many cheese cakes in birthday. I’m having two type of maple cheese cake. Keke~~ special thanks to Aileen and unknown cake shop owner.
Big thanks to my close brother also, Rico! Thanks for having McDonald together with me. Really enjoy having it together! ( :p thanks for the treat!)
I truly thank God for everything especially today! Well, I did not expect for anything. I felt blessed for every single thing happen in my life! Thanks for the people around me. If you are the one who read my blog now and you are forget or don’t know about my birthday, just want to let you know that you are forgiven with condition that buy Elizabeth’s perfume for me. Haha…
This is my life having so many cheese cakes in birthday. I’m having two type of maple cheese cake. Keke~~ special thanks to Aileen and unknown cake shop owner.
Big thanks to my close brother also, Rico! Thanks for having McDonald together with me. Really enjoy having it together! ( :p thanks for the treat!)
I truly thank God for everything especially today! Well, I did not expect for anything. I felt blessed for every single thing happen in my life! Thanks for the people around me. If you are the one who read my blog now and you are forget or don’t know about my birthday, just want to let you know that you are forgiven with condition that buy Elizabeth’s perfume for me. Haha…
Sunday, June 15, 2008
happy birthday, nicole!
Since I can’t pamper myself on tomorrow therefore I decided to celebrate my birthday today. My reward is secret recipe’s cheese cake! Even thought I can’t manage to eat New York cheese cake, but at least I can get maple cheese cake. All I want just cheese. Haha..
I decided to buy perfume for myself as birthday gift. Yes! I want to buy Elizabeth’s perfume! Just now, I went to shopping and tested a lot of brand. My body is full with fragrance now. For the past 25 year, I celebrate my birthday without boyfriend. So, I don’t think that I need anyone for next year.
I truly felt blessed that I manage to restore back my relationship with God! For the past one week, I suffer a very bad gastric until I think that I might get a very serious disease. In my mind, I did not scare to die. Die for me is a process and at least I can see my Lord face to face. My last request is I able to see him again and told him that I love him face to face. In my life, I never said “I love you” to anyone face to face yet.
I felt myself is silly. Please! It is just an imagination. The real me is super ego and I don’t think that I’ll do so. I felt pain until I can’t take it but I don’t ever have a thought to call him. It is so funny to inform him when I about to die. Even I disappear in this world, I think he will never know about it and he is not interest to know. His request was he wants me to forget him and at the same time he showed that he already forget me. What to do? I just follow what he wants.
It’s time to fight for my career! I know that I will see God’s promises came to pass again! Team leader, here I’m! Nicole, happy birthday! (Sound very pity by wish yourself happy birthday. Who care? As long as I know that I still have God with me. Jesus, I love you!)
I decided to buy perfume for myself as birthday gift. Yes! I want to buy Elizabeth’s perfume! Just now, I went to shopping and tested a lot of brand. My body is full with fragrance now. For the past 25 year, I celebrate my birthday without boyfriend. So, I don’t think that I need anyone for next year.
I truly felt blessed that I manage to restore back my relationship with God! For the past one week, I suffer a very bad gastric until I think that I might get a very serious disease. In my mind, I did not scare to die. Die for me is a process and at least I can see my Lord face to face. My last request is I able to see him again and told him that I love him face to face. In my life, I never said “I love you” to anyone face to face yet.
I felt myself is silly. Please! It is just an imagination. The real me is super ego and I don’t think that I’ll do so. I felt pain until I can’t take it but I don’t ever have a thought to call him. It is so funny to inform him when I about to die. Even I disappear in this world, I think he will never know about it and he is not interest to know. His request was he wants me to forget him and at the same time he showed that he already forget me. What to do? I just follow what he wants.
It’s time to fight for my career! I know that I will see God’s promises came to pass again! Team leader, here I’m! Nicole, happy birthday! (Sound very pity by wish yourself happy birthday. Who care? As long as I know that I still have God with me. Jesus, I love you!)
Saturday, June 14, 2008
painful week
I suffer a very bad gastric for almost a week! It was so terrible. It is also a signal for me that I should take care myself better. The feeling is like people stab your stomach and it was super pain! I could not stop it.
It was happen on the same time I was trained my two new guys. One of them left me, I blamed myself for that. I thank God that I still have another one. I will appreciate her more.
From this lesson, I learned something. Never look at the thing you have lost and you need appreciate what you still have. I admit that lost Tim was my greatest pain in my life. I cry over it then get over and it is not easy for me. Every time when I saw him make me became me so emotional and I totally can’t focus on what I should do. It is because my heart is pain wherever he is near. But, Tim makes me realize that I need to put God in my priority in everything I do. Right now, I learned to be neutral and he is just my working partner. I will be draw line with him very clearly.
The feeling of back to prayer meeting again is extremely good! God, I just love dwell inside Your presence! After so much, You are the only one who stay with me. It reminds me that what You told me in the beginning, even the whole world abandon me, not trust me but You are the only one will never forsake me. It is really time for me run back to You again!
I decided to follow what Eunice said, never step into any love relationship again for a year. Get my mind right and always put God in everything I do!
Next Monday 16th June is my birthday. I still need to work. Actually, I really hope that you can remember my birthday which is never will come true. A simple birthday greeting I think is better than anything in this world.
It was happen on the same time I was trained my two new guys. One of them left me, I blamed myself for that. I thank God that I still have another one. I will appreciate her more.
From this lesson, I learned something. Never look at the thing you have lost and you need appreciate what you still have. I admit that lost Tim was my greatest pain in my life. I cry over it then get over and it is not easy for me. Every time when I saw him make me became me so emotional and I totally can’t focus on what I should do. It is because my heart is pain wherever he is near. But, Tim makes me realize that I need to put God in my priority in everything I do. Right now, I learned to be neutral and he is just my working partner. I will be draw line with him very clearly.
The feeling of back to prayer meeting again is extremely good! God, I just love dwell inside Your presence! After so much, You are the only one who stay with me. It reminds me that what You told me in the beginning, even the whole world abandon me, not trust me but You are the only one will never forsake me. It is really time for me run back to You again!
I decided to follow what Eunice said, never step into any love relationship again for a year. Get my mind right and always put God in everything I do!
Next Monday 16th June is my birthday. I still need to work. Actually, I really hope that you can remember my birthday which is never will come true. A simple birthday greeting I think is better than anything in this world.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
another sunday
When I was met client on yesterday, he reads my palm. I told him that I’m still single and he told me I still few more boyfriends to go. Oh my God! He inform me that my third boyfriend is coming soon.. My reaction is I’m tired! I only want him.
I told my client that I love him very much and asked him that isn’t possible that I and he can be together again. His advise was both of you know the reason why can’t be together and what for to go back again.
From the bottom of my heart, he is the only one I love. I only like Jerry but it is not love. Separated with him, my heart yearns because it is pain. But I’ll respect his decision which is requested me to forget him. I’ll do it. I know that God will restore my broken heart. I thank God that I did not break his heart. If one people suffer from this, I glad that you are not that person. Our problem is both of us love ourselves too much and no one willing to give more.
Today’s sermon is absolutely correct. Falling love is very easy but stay in love is difficult. Chemistry result from falling love only can last for a few months. After that, stay in love is very difficult because it is required participant of both parties. I think none of us to put effort to nurture our love.
Before service start, I have a talk with Eunice. I felt want to cry. This is real me, I’m very fragile. I know that she is going to talk something with me. She challenges me to serve God and put God first in everything I do for a year. She told me that not to step into relationship during this period. I’m afraid to promise her anything. I told her that I want BUT.. Her answer is in God never had BUT only has IF. Just imagine that God never put me in His priority. I only found out that I never put God first in everything I do. My Lord, I’m sorry for what I have done.
I told my client that I love him very much and asked him that isn’t possible that I and he can be together again. His advise was both of you know the reason why can’t be together and what for to go back again.
From the bottom of my heart, he is the only one I love. I only like Jerry but it is not love. Separated with him, my heart yearns because it is pain. But I’ll respect his decision which is requested me to forget him. I’ll do it. I know that God will restore my broken heart. I thank God that I did not break his heart. If one people suffer from this, I glad that you are not that person. Our problem is both of us love ourselves too much and no one willing to give more.
Today’s sermon is absolutely correct. Falling love is very easy but stay in love is difficult. Chemistry result from falling love only can last for a few months. After that, stay in love is very difficult because it is required participant of both parties. I think none of us to put effort to nurture our love.
Before service start, I have a talk with Eunice. I felt want to cry. This is real me, I’m very fragile. I know that she is going to talk something with me. She challenges me to serve God and put God first in everything I do for a year. She told me that not to step into relationship during this period. I’m afraid to promise her anything. I told her that I want BUT.. Her answer is in God never had BUT only has IF. Just imagine that God never put me in His priority. I only found out that I never put God first in everything I do. My Lord, I’m sorry for what I have done.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
wednesday 10:24pm
“When you think the love you get is conditional than your self-worth is always up for grab. That is when you start promoting or protecting yourself all the time. You believe you have to impress others to get love. And you think to keep love, you have to give that good impression again and again. That’s sad way to live.
You wake up and finally understand there is no way you can achieve enough, gain enough recognition, obtain enough power or own enough thing to get anymore love. You have all the love you need. And you have it from the minute you were born.”
This is book which I read on the weekend. What the author said really delight me. When I in love with someone, I wasn’t me at all. I have to impress him to get his love. The funny thing is I told him that I love him unconditionally and now I found out that I love him conditionally. I have a thinking that even he doesn’t have anything now and I still will love him with all my heart. But if I change the job and not be tough in front of him and I’ll lost him for sure. I lost my self-worth because I was not his priority at all. Even though he told me that he appreciates me but action speak louder than action.
I really don’t know what is on your mind. Am I qualified to be your friend only or business partner? That is why I don’t want to keep in touch with you anymore. Why I should be the one who call you all the time and you never are the person doing so? I have so many questions but I don’t have the answer. I guess to you, I just like the dust and it is so meaningless to you. But for me, you are the one I only love and how I wish that you are last person for me. Maybe… it is the time for me let go..
Seriously, I don’t want to fall in love right now. I badly injured. I need time to recover. I strongly believe that anything I can felt and God can heal!
You wake up and finally understand there is no way you can achieve enough, gain enough recognition, obtain enough power or own enough thing to get anymore love. You have all the love you need. And you have it from the minute you were born.”
This is book which I read on the weekend. What the author said really delight me. When I in love with someone, I wasn’t me at all. I have to impress him to get his love. The funny thing is I told him that I love him unconditionally and now I found out that I love him conditionally. I have a thinking that even he doesn’t have anything now and I still will love him with all my heart. But if I change the job and not be tough in front of him and I’ll lost him for sure. I lost my self-worth because I was not his priority at all. Even though he told me that he appreciates me but action speak louder than action.
I really don’t know what is on your mind. Am I qualified to be your friend only or business partner? That is why I don’t want to keep in touch with you anymore. Why I should be the one who call you all the time and you never are the person doing so? I have so many questions but I don’t have the answer. I guess to you, I just like the dust and it is so meaningless to you. But for me, you are the one I only love and how I wish that you are last person for me. Maybe… it is the time for me let go..
Seriously, I don’t want to fall in love right now. I badly injured. I need time to recover. I strongly believe that anything I can felt and God can heal!
Monday, May 19, 2008
tomorrow will be better
Today is not a very good day because I need to recover back from the feeling of losing someone who is very important to me. It is very hard but I know I can do it better on tomorrow.
I’m so proud of myself because I did not cry in front of him. Right now, my tears keep falling down because it is after working hour and this is the only time that I allowed myself to lost attitude.
I have admitted that I really love you so deep. At the same time, I respect your decision.
Today I met a very funny person. One of my clients requests me to become his girlfriend. He willing to do whatever it takes to become my boyfriend. He willing donates RM150 per month to WWF and at the same time became Christian for my sake. I seriously laugh until to maximum point. He keeps on selling himself and told me that he is engineer. When I told him that I got boyfriend (actually I’m not. :p), his answer even great because he said that he willing became my “spare tayar”. I’m really amazed by what he was saying to me but my heart is very small and only for one person.
What you said is true that I can find someone better than you and so many people interest on me. But in my heart, you are the only one I want.
I felt very blessed when I can hold you so tight and listen to your heart beat.
I thank God that I still have You. You are the only in this world will not forsake me. I strongly believe that everything I can felt and God can heal! Hallelujah!
I’m so proud of myself because I did not cry in front of him. Right now, my tears keep falling down because it is after working hour and this is the only time that I allowed myself to lost attitude.
I have admitted that I really love you so deep. At the same time, I respect your decision.
Today I met a very funny person. One of my clients requests me to become his girlfriend. He willing to do whatever it takes to become my boyfriend. He willing donates RM150 per month to WWF and at the same time became Christian for my sake. I seriously laugh until to maximum point. He keeps on selling himself and told me that he is engineer. When I told him that I got boyfriend (actually I’m not. :p), his answer even great because he said that he willing became my “spare tayar”. I’m really amazed by what he was saying to me but my heart is very small and only for one person.
What you said is true that I can find someone better than you and so many people interest on me. But in my heart, you are the only one I want.
I felt very blessed when I can hold you so tight and listen to your heart beat.
I thank God that I still have You. You are the only in this world will not forsake me. I strongly believe that everything I can felt and God can heal! Hallelujah!
Saturday, May 17, 2008
I felt so blessed because of Rev Kong Hee. He is wonderful man of God! Through session with him, I learned a lot and I glad that I can attend most of his session.
In his first day, he teach us about 3 shame barrier which are inheritance shame, impose shame, and actual shame. I was delight by his word which is “ ANYTHING YOU FELT, GOD WILL HEAL”. I believe that God will heal my broken heart. Even though I’m a Christian but I actually done something that is wrong and as a result I hurt myself and the one I love.
The second day is about prayer. The moment you lost your prayer life and at the same time you lost power in your life.
In his last session is about pain. Fear always is a stumbling block that cause people not success.
I was touch by presence of God in every session. He is just so close with us. I even can felt that we are singing in the heaven. He is so real!
Falling in love is very easy but stay in love is very difficult. I think that it is so true. The fear of falling makes you can’t fully convince how much people love you? I don’t know how true it is but at least it is so right for me. I think both of us face a same problem.
In his first day, he teach us about 3 shame barrier which are inheritance shame, impose shame, and actual shame. I was delight by his word which is “ ANYTHING YOU FELT, GOD WILL HEAL”. I believe that God will heal my broken heart. Even though I’m a Christian but I actually done something that is wrong and as a result I hurt myself and the one I love.
The second day is about prayer. The moment you lost your prayer life and at the same time you lost power in your life.
In his last session is about pain. Fear always is a stumbling block that cause people not success.
I was touch by presence of God in every session. He is just so close with us. I even can felt that we are singing in the heaven. He is so real!
Falling in love is very easy but stay in love is very difficult. I think that it is so true. The fear of falling makes you can’t fully convince how much people love you? I don’t know how true it is but at least it is so right for me. I think both of us face a same problem.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
in kfc
Recently, there is a girl who share with me that her boyfriend got another girlfriend. She was crying in front of me. In this fallen world, a lot of people take love for granted. I hope it does not include you who I love the most.
Today is a public holiday but I still working. I wonder when I get the gift from Shi Long. He just came back from Japan. It reminds me that I never see him for more than a year.
Congratulation to you for your promotion, Tim! I always know that you have a great ability. Today I have strong feeling that I already done my part in your life. I give you all the moral support when you are needed. Maybe, it is time for me to move away my focus from you… nowadays; I felt that every word spoken by you does my heart pain. I don’t want to blame anyone because I’m main reason of all things. I do hope that you still can continue to trust people.
Haha.. I make my preparation to my Pulau Lang Tengah Trip. Yahoo~~ to be frank, I don’t have any experience to travel alone. You are the only one who get my sms that I do hope that I can go with you. Regardless what is the outcome, I know that I’ll be there.
This week I truly know that manage the people is not an easy job. I have to make sure all the thing is running smooth and I need to push my people and myself all the time by showing the result. 100% responsible and blame myself if my people can’t perform. The most important is my attitude lesson. Every time, I need to remind myself all the time that I can’t be hash when give an advice to people. I was complaint by others that the way I speak does hurt people’s heart. Don’t be BOSSY!
Today is a public holiday but I still working. I wonder when I get the gift from Shi Long. He just came back from Japan. It reminds me that I never see him for more than a year.
Congratulation to you for your promotion, Tim! I always know that you have a great ability. Today I have strong feeling that I already done my part in your life. I give you all the moral support when you are needed. Maybe, it is time for me to move away my focus from you… nowadays; I felt that every word spoken by you does my heart pain. I don’t want to blame anyone because I’m main reason of all things. I do hope that you still can continue to trust people.
Haha.. I make my preparation to my Pulau Lang Tengah Trip. Yahoo~~ to be frank, I don’t have any experience to travel alone. You are the only one who get my sms that I do hope that I can go with you. Regardless what is the outcome, I know that I’ll be there.
This week I truly know that manage the people is not an easy job. I have to make sure all the thing is running smooth and I need to push my people and myself all the time by showing the result. 100% responsible and blame myself if my people can’t perform. The most important is my attitude lesson. Every time, I need to remind myself all the time that I can’t be hash when give an advice to people. I was complaint by others that the way I speak does hurt people’s heart. Don’t be BOSSY!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
feeling
“In a relationship conflict, crying is often a woman’s response to feeling unloved, and anger is often a man’s response to feeling disrespected.”
I don’t sure how true it is but at least it does happen on me. I’m not cry for some time. I was crying on Wednesday because I’m emotional break down for some reason. You are the one really has something because I only spoken one word and you already know I was crying. To be frank, I don’t like cry especially I don’t want to let you know that I’m crying. I felt myself very stupid because I let you know that I’m cry.
I’m thinking go to travel and I want to go Pulau Lang Tengah alone. I need to have a very good rest. Last time I used to think to go there with someone I love but right now I think I better go by myself.
No one loves to be alone.
This week I really spend a lot on praying and after a long talk with Ghana and I realized the reason. I can’t believe I was cursed by someone else because I did not lend the money to that person. No wonder everything was so wrong in my life. After that, the only I know I need to fast on the second day in order to built up my spirit.
Right now, I need to fast and continue to pray until the curse left me. I think it is already left me. I think God want remind me that I have a very close relationship with him once before. It is the time for me to go back! Lord, I long for you.
Put God first in everything I do.
I don’t sure how true it is but at least it does happen on me. I’m not cry for some time. I was crying on Wednesday because I’m emotional break down for some reason. You are the one really has something because I only spoken one word and you already know I was crying. To be frank, I don’t like cry especially I don’t want to let you know that I’m crying. I felt myself very stupid because I let you know that I’m cry.
I’m thinking go to travel and I want to go Pulau Lang Tengah alone. I need to have a very good rest. Last time I used to think to go there with someone I love but right now I think I better go by myself.
No one loves to be alone.
This week I really spend a lot on praying and after a long talk with Ghana and I realized the reason. I can’t believe I was cursed by someone else because I did not lend the money to that person. No wonder everything was so wrong in my life. After that, the only I know I need to fast on the second day in order to built up my spirit.
Right now, I need to fast and continue to pray until the curse left me. I think it is already left me. I think God want remind me that I have a very close relationship with him once before. It is the time for me to go back! Lord, I long for you.
Put God first in everything I do.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
love
When you in love with someone, do you need a reason? For me, I don’t have any reason for me to love anyone.
Love can be very simply yet can be complicated. To be frank, I’m the one who lazy to think much, so in order to make my life easy then I chose to love everyone.
You can give without love but you can’t love without giving. Love always reminds me that how Jesus loves me. Love of God is great!
To you, if you are the person who reading my blog now. Yes, I love you because you really touch my heart (only dedicated to the only one who is very important to me).
Love can be very simply yet can be complicated. To be frank, I’m the one who lazy to think much, so in order to make my life easy then I chose to love everyone.
You can give without love but you can’t love without giving. Love always reminds me that how Jesus loves me. Love of God is great!
To you, if you are the person who reading my blog now. Yes, I love you because you really touch my heart (only dedicated to the only one who is very important to me).
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
miss u, baby
Recently, I face a very stupid problem. I can’t recall Tim’s face at all. I think I miss him a lot because never saw him for very long time already.
When I asked my male friend and female friend about this, they give a different answer. For male, they felt I very stupid because I claimed that I miss the person so much but how came I can’t even recall his face at all. For female, they felt it is very normal. Phew~~
My friend said that he will be very hurt if he is the one received the answer like these. At first, I just felt nothing wrong. After a while, I recalled how Tim’s voice has changed after I told him about that. I realized that I done a wrong thing. Sorry, baby. I really not mean to hurt you. I hope you can understand. Please forgive me.
When I asked my male friend and female friend about this, they give a different answer. For male, they felt I very stupid because I claimed that I miss the person so much but how came I can’t even recall his face at all. For female, they felt it is very normal. Phew~~
My friend said that he will be very hurt if he is the one received the answer like these. At first, I just felt nothing wrong. After a while, I recalled how Tim’s voice has changed after I told him about that. I realized that I done a wrong thing. Sorry, baby. I really not mean to hurt you. I hope you can understand. Please forgive me.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
hometown day
Whoa~~~ I still in my hometown. Supposedly I need to go back on today but I really reluctant to go back so I decided to take another off day.
It is been so long that I never have a break. I guess I so tired for everything. Monday to Saturday are my working days. Sunday is my beloved day. This is a day where I can dwell in presence of my beloved Lord, Jesus and also meet my beloved Tim. But I never meet Tim for almost one month and I very upset with this. What to do? I don’t know. I think in his heart, he don’t have desire to meet me always. Thank God that I still have You, my Jesus. I can’t imagine my life without You, Lord. Whenever I need You, You are always be there for me. Truly, You are my faithful Lord.
Recently, I met two people in my life which make me change a lot. I start felt disappointment because human being is so ugly. Actually, I wish I can run away from them but I don’t want be a quitter that is why I chose stay. I don’t want to blame anyone because we live in a fallen world. I just want to be true to myself. No matter what is your intention, I chose to love you regardless who you are. I think in this world, there is one will never give up and forsake me who is my Lord, Jesus. This is reason for me to keep on continue to forgive and love.
Dennis, he is my friend who can see people’s past. He can read what happen on me on past. I was very excited and keep asking about me. I felt very happy about that. Joseph, he is my friend who can see people’s future. He can read my future but I felt very tension about that. Joseph said that it is not very good to know about your future and I totally agree with that. From Joseph, I know very clear about two guys who are very close with me. I very upset about that.
I thank God for these two unique person.
It is been so long that I never have a break. I guess I so tired for everything. Monday to Saturday are my working days. Sunday is my beloved day. This is a day where I can dwell in presence of my beloved Lord, Jesus and also meet my beloved Tim. But I never meet Tim for almost one month and I very upset with this. What to do? I don’t know. I think in his heart, he don’t have desire to meet me always. Thank God that I still have You, my Jesus. I can’t imagine my life without You, Lord. Whenever I need You, You are always be there for me. Truly, You are my faithful Lord.
Recently, I met two people in my life which make me change a lot. I start felt disappointment because human being is so ugly. Actually, I wish I can run away from them but I don’t want be a quitter that is why I chose stay. I don’t want to blame anyone because we live in a fallen world. I just want to be true to myself. No matter what is your intention, I chose to love you regardless who you are. I think in this world, there is one will never give up and forsake me who is my Lord, Jesus. This is reason for me to keep on continue to forgive and love.
Dennis, he is my friend who can see people’s past. He can read what happen on me on past. I was very excited and keep asking about me. I felt very happy about that. Joseph, he is my friend who can see people’s future. He can read my future but I felt very tension about that. Joseph said that it is not very good to know about your future and I totally agree with that. From Joseph, I know very clear about two guys who are very close with me. I very upset about that.
I thank God for these two unique person.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Easter
Finally, I have sometime to write down my blog. Life is so good with God and with Tim.
Today is Easter! I thank God for whatever He has did for us on 2000 years ago. Otherwise, I could not imagine what will happen on me now. I’m in tear while I was watching drama how Jesus was crucified. His love is great! Thank you, my Lord.
Tim, to me he is so special and he is very important person for me. I felt secured when he is beside me. I pray that he will be last for me.
Seriously I don’t know what should pen down. Just stop here.. continue on next time..
Today is Easter! I thank God for whatever He has did for us on 2000 years ago. Otherwise, I could not imagine what will happen on me now. I’m in tear while I was watching drama how Jesus was crucified. His love is great! Thank you, my Lord.
Tim, to me he is so special and he is very important person for me. I felt secured when he is beside me. I pray that he will be last for me.
Seriously I don’t know what should pen down. Just stop here.. continue on next time..
Sunday, February 17, 2008
monday
Accidentally detect someone’s wireless connection, so I can online before depart to work.
In this fallen world, everywhere is full with disappointment. I can’t escape from it. Thanks for sermon of Keith, let me realize that it’s ok to felt disappointment but don’t dwelt in it. Yes! I disappoint with what you have done! ^&%^%$#& After that, forgive and forget. The most thing is it’s time to move on!
Suddenly I recharged back and gained back the energy to fight! But right now, I more excited because I will Cameron Highlands on tomorrow. Yes!!! Free trip!
In this fallen world, everywhere is full with disappointment. I can’t escape from it. Thanks for sermon of Keith, let me realize that it’s ok to felt disappointment but don’t dwelt in it. Yes! I disappoint with what you have done! ^&%^%$#& After that, forgive and forget. The most thing is it’s time to move on!
Suddenly I recharged back and gained back the energy to fight! But right now, I more excited because I will Cameron Highlands on tomorrow. Yes!!! Free trip!
i'm back
I’m back! I’m back! Back on track to all the thing I need to be done.
After the bible study with Shirley, I simply felt so good! I just like to dwell in the world to learn the more things about God. I glad that I’m the one who make all these happen. I’m the person who asked Shirley to teach me bible study and I take initiative to ask her free time to teach me. I done all these because of God and I don’t want to disappoint God again.
In my career, I need refocus back to all the thing I must be done. First of all, I would like to thanks Tim. Tim, I appreciate all you have done to me. Every time hear your voice simply make me felt so motivated! I’m so excited listen to your achievement. I pray that I on the right track to move forward together with you.
Never forget about Suki, Hui Min and Jacob. You all are my star of the month. Always be there for me.
New Year and new beginning! 2008! I so excited! Thanks for challenge to make me became stronger.
Enjoy so much at Starbucks, listen to the music and spend all my time to do the thing which is benefit to me. Time to head back my home! See you next time!
After the bible study with Shirley, I simply felt so good! I just like to dwell in the world to learn the more things about God. I glad that I’m the one who make all these happen. I’m the person who asked Shirley to teach me bible study and I take initiative to ask her free time to teach me. I done all these because of God and I don’t want to disappoint God again.
In my career, I need refocus back to all the thing I must be done. First of all, I would like to thanks Tim. Tim, I appreciate all you have done to me. Every time hear your voice simply make me felt so motivated! I’m so excited listen to your achievement. I pray that I on the right track to move forward together with you.
Never forget about Suki, Hui Min and Jacob. You all are my star of the month. Always be there for me.
New Year and new beginning! 2008! I so excited! Thanks for challenge to make me became stronger.
Enjoy so much at Starbucks, listen to the music and spend all my time to do the thing which is benefit to me. Time to head back my home! See you next time!
Sunday, January 20, 2008
stable
Stability is what I’m looking for. Continue doing what I’m doing. Prefer alone and please do not disturb me.
Out of love is process in the life. It has been a big deal for me but not more. Even sometime heart will pain but I told myself it is the choice that I already make. Just bear it and time will heal it. Definitely God will heal my pain!
Seriously felt want to get married! Who care that I don’t have partner right now, I just want it and I know it will happened. That is why I said I want have a stable life.
Whatever already passed I chose to let go. He already gets out from my circle and I will not keep staying there. I think my pastor is right. As a Christian, we should decide and set a standard before stepped into any relationship and DO NOT decide only when the men who is looking for you. God fearing is my priority for my life time partner. I have done the mistake and I know I would not repeat again.
Am I too religion and holy? At least for my soul mate, I will continue and hold it tight. If you are not a Christian, I have to say sorry because I don’t want repeat my mistake again.
To who is read my blog now, I’m ok. Please do not worry me, I’m old enough to be independent.
Out of love is process in the life. It has been a big deal for me but not more. Even sometime heart will pain but I told myself it is the choice that I already make. Just bear it and time will heal it. Definitely God will heal my pain!
Seriously felt want to get married! Who care that I don’t have partner right now, I just want it and I know it will happened. That is why I said I want have a stable life.
Whatever already passed I chose to let go. He already gets out from my circle and I will not keep staying there. I think my pastor is right. As a Christian, we should decide and set a standard before stepped into any relationship and DO NOT decide only when the men who is looking for you. God fearing is my priority for my life time partner. I have done the mistake and I know I would not repeat again.
Am I too religion and holy? At least for my soul mate, I will continue and hold it tight. If you are not a Christian, I have to say sorry because I don’t want repeat my mistake again.
To who is read my blog now, I’m ok. Please do not worry me, I’m old enough to be independent.
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